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Rdv1233
2 315 M Embraced 2
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2025 Member sinceNovember 2, 2025
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Trauma is screwing up my life now
Trauma Support / by Rdv1233
Last post
 December 8th, 2025
...See more I didn't have a childhood. I had no joy, no fun, just suffering. Also, I was never loved or cared about by anyone where it wasn't obligated. The fact that my abuse by a neighbor is the least of my trauma makes me realize how terrible the other stuff was growing up. Always outcasted, having panic attacks all the time robbed me from building connections. On top of that, my Asperger's (Autism Spectrum Disorder, as it's called now) made it so hard to communicate. Now, I'm almost 30, have nothing and no friends, pretty much just existing. I can't stand hearing about people dating, their lives, and achievements. I hate it all, and am I haunted by my thoughts. Why does the past have to affect how I can be now. How I can just be okay. **Sorry if this sounds convoluted, I just have a lot on my mind.
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So behind, and so alone.
Depression Support / by Rdv1233
Last post
 November 4th, 2025
...See more I'm having a really hard time lately. I been very depressed because of my circumstances. I am in my late 20s and in the process of transferring universities (I am finally getting my degree). I lived about two hours away in another town and went to school there, but I got injured playing sports and had to move back with family. It is better financially too. Right now, I'm not doing much. I don't have a job right now (there are reasons why, personal) and I am waiting until August 2026 for classes. I want friends, but fear that I will be looked down on due to my situation. There is also another issue bothering me too. About a year ago, I broke up with the woman I was dating in the town in which I was living for school. She was amazing and so kind. I had never really been in a relationship like that before. It was my fault it went sideways and I feel terrible that it happened. I am really set behind due to Autism stuff and never put myself out there. I miss her greatly. Dating her, even for a short time, and living on my own for once made me realize how good life can be. I feel now that I'm missing out. It seems like the blinders are off and I can't go back to being okay with who I am again. I feel held back by my circumstances and want to be okay with things, I just don't know how. I want to stop feeling so sad. (Kind of a rant, but felt good to write this)
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