Trauma is screwing up my life now
I didn't have a childhood. I had no joy, no fun, just suffering. Also, I was never loved or cared about by anyone where it wasn't obligated.
The fact that my abuse by a neighbor is the least of my trauma makes me realize how terrible the other stuff was growing up.
Always outcasted, having panic attacks all the time robbed me from building connections. On top of that, my Asperger's (Autism Spectrum Disorder, as it's called now) made it so hard to communicate.
Now, I'm almost 30, have nothing and no friends, pretty much just existing.
I can't stand hearing about people dating, their lives, and achievements.
I hate it all, and am I haunted by my thoughts.
Why does the past have to affect how I can be now. How I can just be okay.
**Sorry if this sounds convoluted, I just have a lot on my mind.
@Rdv1233
You don't have to be sorry!
It's understandable why you don't wish to hear about other people's good fortunes.
I'm so sorry you suffered abuse 🥺
And always felt left out!
Or it was only an obligation for people to befriend you.
It's so difficult at times for people with autism to emotionally open up.
They need people who love them and advocate for them!
I'm sorry you didn't have that!
💖
I just want people to actually value me.
Thank you for the kind words. Means a lot.
@Rdv1233
A pleasure 💜
Don't let others determine your value!
Its just hard when others perceptions affect what and what not I can do.
