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RiverPark
1 1,237 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts24 Forum posts37 Forum upvotes25 Current upvotes25 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2017 Member sinceMay 7, 2014
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Attracting Abusers and Repelling Nice Guys
Trauma Support / by RiverPark
Last post
 June 15th, 2016
...See more Has anyone both faced and solved this issue? Any advice would be appreciated, because my therapist seems to believe that my situation is hopeless. I am not attracted to them, but I seem to be only capable of attracting abusive men with addictions and severe issues. I am attracted to non-abusive men, but they want nothing to do with me. I believe this is due to the way I was treated by my family of origin. My therapist told me that the way I grew up - with critical, abusive, manipulative parents who took from me, put me down, resented me, and never supported me - means that there is only a very slim chance that I will attract a healthy romantic relationship. She told me it's not likely because it's baked into my perfectionistic personality. Can anyone else relate? How do I break this cycle? I just scared off another wonderful guy, and still have selfish takers pounding at my door...emotional vampires just yearning to knock me down on the ladder of life. Thanks!
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Feelings of Inadequacy, Depression, Anxiety, and Dating
Depression Support / by RiverPark
Last post
 November 20th, 2014
...See more I have a deep-seated belief that I am not as good, lovable, or desirable as other women are.  As a result, when I like someone, I work 300x harder to make them like me to compensate for the fact that I believe I suck. They always reject me and choose another woman over me.  I've heard that the way you feel about yourself dictates how others treat you, so if I feel I'm not good enough for someone, they'll treat me accordingly, and if I believe that another woman is better than me, they'll believe it, too. I also look for signs that they don't like me, and then avoid them so that they don't hurt me.   Then I wind up talking to guys I really am not that into, and some who are even abusive, because at least someone likes me, even if I don't like them.  Then I break up with them because I don't like them, and I just decide to stay alone since I can't be with someone I like, and I don't want to be with someone I dislike. I'm such a mess, and this is causing me so much excess work, stress, and emotional pain.  Someone  please help me.  How do I get over this terrible feeling of inadequacy, that is just confirmed each time a guy I like rejects me and I guy I don't like pursues me?  Can I just take medicine to make this go away? I'm tired of feeling like garbage. Thanks!
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