Feelings of Inadequacy, Depression, Anxiety, and Dating
I have a deep-seated belief that I am not as good, lovable, or desirable as other women are. As a result, when I like someone, I work 300xharder to make them like me to compensate for the fact that I believe I suck. They always reject me and choose another woman over me. I've heard that the way you feel about yourself dictates how others treat you, so if I feel I'm not good enough for someone, they'll treat me accordingly, and if I believe that another woman is better than me, they'll believe it, too. I also look for signs that they don't like me, and then avoid them so that they don't hurt me.
Then I wind up talking to guys I really am not that into, and some who are even abusive, because at least someone likes me, even if I don't like them. Then I break up with them because I don't like them, and I just decide to stay alone since I can't be with someone I like, and I don't want to be with someone I dislike.
I'm such a mess, and this is causing me so much excess work, stress, and emotional pain. Someone please help me. How do I get over this terrible feeling of inadequacy, that is just confirmed each time a guy I like rejects me and I guy I don't like pursues me? Can I just take medicine to make this go away? I'm tired of feeling like garbage. Thanks!
@RiverPark, you are not, in the least, worthless!!! The times when you say youre trying 300 percent harder may be a wrong way to go about it. The guy may think youre coming across as desperate. Just be yourself!!! You just need a little confidence. I know this isnt exactly the same thing, but I work as a type of mechanic and an injury caused me to work in a different capacity and different equipment than I used to. When I first started this, I looked like a bonehead. I wasnt very confident and was struggling. I asked for help and even prayed about it. I have now gained confidence in my work and respect from fellow workers. Just ask friends for help, they may see something that might help. Most of all be yourself and dont try 300 percent harder. Just give 100 percent you. I think that, you will gain confidence and be much happier. The biggest thing is to NEVER feel worthless and dont ever give up.
@RiverPark Why do you feel like you aren?t good enough? Is it possible that something may have happened or someone made you feel this way? If so, yes the past is the past and we can?t change it, but it doesn?t have o be your future! Maybe if you figure out the cause of your inadequate and anxious feelings, you will be able deal with them and overcome your troubling thoughts, judge yourself less harshly and be able to identify positive traits in potential partners! We are sometimes our own biggest critics and we need to take a step back and realize that we aren?t as bad as we think we are!
Have you seen our anxiety guide? In it are some tips to help you overcome anxiety with reconstructing your thinking pattern, breathing exercises and some other things that I think would help you. Maybe after you read we can privately chat to discuss a few things in it if you want? I hope i helped you in some way and remember that you aren?t worthless!
