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Rousseau1780
12,585 M Pacing Forward 8
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts126 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2020 Member sinceJanuary 12, 2016
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In hospital with severe depression after discovering infidelity
Depression Support / by Rousseau1780
Last post
 December 21st, 2018
...See more Hello everyone, I'm trying to recover from a severe crisis I had after discovering my boyfriend has being cheating on me for months. I discovered it during out holidays, a trip I was waiting for so long... After that, he couldn't cope with the trouble it caused and he decided to split. I was in such despair I even tried to commit suicide. I'm in hospital now, cared by very nice doctors and friends. My now ex boyfriend is willing to help me recover. I refused to see him as I fear it will make me feel worse (I still love him so much, but he is not in love with me and that hurts). Still I think that if we find a way he can help me so I can get rid of all this bitterness it could do me good. Do you have any ideas of how he could help?
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I've been lied to and dumped
Relationship Stress / by Rousseau1780
Last post
 November 1st, 2017
...See more Hello everyone! I thought I would post this also here, and see if someone can give me some good advice. I need to take this load off of my head. I'm feeling terrible, actually I've been feeling like this for a moment now. I live in a foreign country, speak a different language, living a different culture. And all this makes everything a bit harder when we're feeling sad. I've just finished an awful long-distance relationship. I trully wish I never met this person in my life. He showed himself so caring at the beginning to finish being a coward and a liar. We were friends just before our relationship, and I thought this person was so nice. When I saw the possibility to have something more with him I accepted, even though I knew distance makes everything complicated. And because we were friends before, I knew a lot about his ex girlfriend(who also lives in another country), and how he missed her, how he dreamed about being with her again. So when the relationship started, all that information was also creating a barrier between us. I felt threatened all the time thinking this girl would come back and he would leave me. She didn't came back. Actually she never left. I found out I was just a rebound. I discovered he talked to her behind my back, and the excuse was that he wouldn't tell it to me because it would hurt me to know that, but that she's only his friend. The pain was deep for me, because I was feeling insecure, and this just confirmed he could actually lie to me... After a month of no-contact, we we started communicating again, and we even met in person. We spent a lovely weekend together. Until he had a jealousy attack and left me totally alone in a foreign country... After that he said he was sorry, he got too mad because he felt he would lose me. I knew then he also had some strong insecurity issues. This situation led us to a conversation about our problems. I tried to bring up the topic of his ex, but he was avoidant. He said I payed more attention to her than he did, that he cared for me and not for her, that she's just a friend. I tried to understand, at that moment I felt my insecurities were actually irrational. So I only asked him to be honest and never hide things about her again, that way it would be easier for me to leave that issue behind. He did promise he wouldn't do that again. But just a week after, I got a message from him that wasn't meant for me. It was for her. He was talking about a concert: they were organizing to go together there (to her country)... I tried to talk to him again, but he would get angry at everything I said (if I sweared, if I was too angry, I thought he was trying to find flaws in me to justify his own ones). We exchanged some emails ever since, and he would also leave an "open door". In the last one, I told him that I realised he lied moore than I thought he did, just by re-reading our chats and emails. He said things like "I don't want to see her", "i wouldn't travel to her country", and of course "I won't hide things to you anymore". He never answered this email. You can't imagine the state I'm in now. I cry every single day. I feel like rubbish, like a pice of s****. This confirmed my other insecurities: I'm worthless, totally worthless. I have very dark thoughts ever since, and I have nobody here to help me. Please, I need some help, some words to understand life is worth.
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I've been lied to and dumped
Depression Support / by Rousseau1780
Last post
 November 3rd, 2017
...See more Hello everyone! I need to take this load off of my head. I'm feeling terrible, actually I've been feeling like this for a moment now. I live in a foreign country, speak a different language, living a different culture. And all this makes everything a bit harder when we're feeling sad. I've just finished an awful long-distance relationship. I trully wish I never met this person in my life. He showed himself so caring at the beginning to finish being a coward and a liar. We were friends just before our relationship, and I thought this person was so nice. When I saw the possibility to have something more with him I accepted, even though I knew distance makes everything complicated. And because we were friends before, I knew a lot about his ex girlfriend(who also lives in another country), and how he missed her, how he dreamed about being with her again. So when the relationship started, all that information was also creating a barrier between us. I felt threatened all the time thinking this girl would come back and he would leave me. She didn't came back. Actually she never left. I found out I was just a rebound. I discovered he talked to her behind my back, and the excuse was that he wouldn't tell it to me because it would hurt me to know that, but that she's only his friend. The pain was deep for me, because I was feeling insecure, and this just confirmed he could actually lie to me... After a month of no-contact, we we started communicating again, and we even met in person. We spent a lovely weekend together. Until he had a jealousy attack and left me totally alone in a foreign country... After that he said he was sorry, he got too mad because he felt he would lose me. I knew then he also had some strong insecurity issues. This situation led us to a conversation about our problems. I tried to bring up the topic of his ex, but he was avoidant. He said I payed more attention to her than he did, that he cared for me and not for her, that she's just a friend. I tried to understand, at that moment I felt my insecurities were actually irrational. So I only asked him to be honest and never hide things about her again, that way it would be easier for me to leave that issue behind. He did promise he wouldn't do that again. But just a week after, I got a message from him that wasn't meant for me. It was for her. He was talking about a concert: they were organizing to go together there (to her country)... I tried to talk to him again, but he would get angry at everything I said (if I sweared, if I was too angry, I thought he was trying to find flaws in me to justify his own ones). We exchanged some emails ever since, and he would also leave an "open door". In the last one, I told him that I realised he lied moore than I thought he did, just by re-reading our chats and emails. He said things like "I don't want to see her", "i wouldn't travel to her country", and of course "I won't hide things to you anymore". He never answered this email. You can't imagine the state I'm in now. I cry every single day. I feel like rubbish, like a pice of s****. This confirmed my other insecurities: I'm worthless, totally worthless. I have very dark thoughts ever since, and I have nobody here to help me. Please, I need some help, some words to understand life is worth.
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On my way to get better, but with new fears
Relationship Stress / by Rousseau1780
Last post
 August 17th, 2017
...See more Hello! I thought I would write about how I've been feeling after my breakup. I think I passed the first phase of extreme sadness, though I still cry every day. I started to focus on myself a bit more, and try to answer questions about me and not him. I ask for example "Why did I go through this? What took me to have this problem?" instead of asking "What is he thinking now?". I still wonder why he doesn't come back and I still long for a message from him, but I guess that will be my next step. I have new fears though: fear of the future, fear of things that remind me of him, fear of feeling too lonely... There are even parta of the city where I can't go because they remind me of him. I would like to know if you have any advice on these topics. (Ok, writing this made me cry so bad :'( ) Have a nice day everyone!
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Getting obsessed
Relationship Stress / by Rousseau1780
Last post
 August 16th, 2017
...See more Hello everyone, I think I start to need some good help from you. I can't stop thinking about my ex. Our situation was so confusing at the end that I don't get to stop thinking about it! I try to get distracted, do other things but I don't get to do it, everything reminds me of him :( I don't even get to talk with my friends because they see it is hopless and I also think they're getting tired of hearing about it. I really miss this guy, his company, his friendship... but the situation is so weird I don't know what to do :( I met him online and then met in person 4 months ago. The connection was insant, we really liked each other. I espacially felt how much he was getting attached to me, faster than I would. Then little by little I started to feel the same way. I was so much into him! But the last time he came to see me, about a month ago, we had a strong argument about him talking with his ex behind my back. He swore he has nothing with her but it took me some time to understand that. He was very sad I couldn't get to trust him again, and that I was constantly insecure. Little by little he pulled away, until it ended. He said he still wants to talk to me but I was so sad I asked him to not keep contact for a while. Now I regret it. I sent him an email saying I would be happy to reconnect with him, and he answered asking how I was. Then I replied saying I would only like to keep things clear before starting a friendship (in other words, I don't want to get expectations if there aren't any). Of course, he didn't answer this time... Can somebody please give me a hint on how to act now? :(
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