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Sadbubbles
406 M Embraced 3
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2019 Member sinceJuly 20, 2015
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Don't read this. Trigger warnings. I'm sorry.
Trauma Support / by Sadbubbles
Last post
 January 27th, 2019
...See more I've gotten really good at pretending to be ok, sometimes I actually convince myself. I live alone so nobody checks on me. All my friends are miles away And I'm sinking. Nobody will get to me in time and that's ok. I'm sick of this. All I wanted was a steady job. I can't live like this forever. I don't want to live like this forever. I can take my drugs when I work not to feel any thing. They say I'm like a sex doll, they can just bend me any way they want. I feel the pain later though, one of them broke my arm recently. One of them kidnapped me for 3 days and tortured me under substance abuse. I don't remember some of it. But that's ok. One of them killed me once. I woke up in hospital surrounded by police. They didn't help me, they didn't care, they wanted to know where they went. A suspect for a case. Thank God I have my drugs. At least this part of me doesn't know what that part of me is. Tonight I'm doing the same thing, I've disinfected my body and purged everything out. Because if I don't do this I won't survive until tomorrow. And it's ok. I wear turtleneck in summer and I hardly eat just in case, I have some really horrible ones, they like horrible things, because they're horrible demons. They like to re-enact porno they watch. I promise myself it's the last time, for money's sake. For money's sake.
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I am alone with everything in my head
Trauma Support / by Sadbubbles
Last post
 January 16th, 2019
...See more I am a child of the biggest sex ring in london, i have been passed from circle to circle my entire life. Until six years ago i didn't have any friends or family and no love choices or relationship experiences. I would like to get my problem off of my chest here as it's been hurting me for a while, you don't have to read, this is just so i don't crack up again.. I have had a friend for six years, we've discussed being in a relationship but i wasn't ready, recently i've been feeling like i have been ready to date someone, so a few weeks ago i was getting ready to tell him i would like to date him but it turns out he'd been dating a good friend of mine for a day already, didn't even consult me about it and had only known my friend for a week. They're still dating and will constantly tell me about their relationship. I am in a constant state of suicidal depression but i will not kill myself because it would hurt him too much, he doesn't need me around but he thinks he does, so for now i suppose i will just have deal with it or risk making him unhappy. I don't want that at all. Thankyou for listening.
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