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Sarah23
526 M Embraced 4
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts31 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2016 Member sinceApril 6, 2014
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Trying to Survive the Sexual Assault
Trauma Support / by Sarah23
Last post
 February 4th, 2015
...See more Hey, Everyone, So, I've posted on here in the past.  Here is the link to my previous post: https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaticExperiencesCommunity_60/TraumaticExperiences_48/SexuallyAssaulted_3272/. A lot of times I feel like I'm getting better but then there are nights like tonight where I'm just thinking about it so much.  I can't help it.  I've been trying to keep myself from cutting tonight...I just think it would feel so good, but it's been so long since I've done it that part of me doesn't want to relapse. I don't know...I guess I just came here looking for some support tonight.  I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life.
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Sexually Assaulted
Trauma Support / by Sarah23
Last post
 October 31st, 2014
...See more Hey, Everyone: I have a hard time sleeping at night, so it's when I do most of my thinking and whatnot. I'm 22 and am about to start my last semester of college at a small, Lutheran college in the Midwest.  A little over a year ago (April 5, 2013 to be exact), a guy I considered a friend sexually assaulted me.  He came over to watch Boy Meets World with me, which I figured would be harmless.  We had fooled around a little bit the previous semester, but I had told him over Christmas break that I didn't want to fool around anymore.  I had different reasons for not wanting to continue. So, on this particular night, we were just chilling in my apartment watching the TV show.  We were watching it online and it was taking awhile for one of the episodes to load.  As we were waiting for it to load, he started fingering me and other stuff.  I told him no.  Numerous times.  I told him I didn't want to do that.  He didn't listen.  He said I could just lay there and enjoy it and that I wouldn't have to do anything.  I didn't know what else to do, so I just laid there.  Eventually, I helped him finish because it was just going to keep doing stuff to me and take forever if I didn't.  I didn't want to, but I felt like I had no other choice. I was doing a lot better and felt like I was moving on with this.  But it's really been bothering me again lately.  I should've done more to try to stop him.  I'm such an idiot.  I know it's not as drastic as what happens to a lot of people, but it's effecting me quite a bit.  I feel like it's effecting me more than it should.  I just feel so weak and pathetic.  I don't really know what to do.
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