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Septemberjune8489
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceDecember 8, 2021
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I just need to get it out of my head
Relationship Stress / by Septemberjune8489
Last post
 December 12th, 2021
...See more My husband and I have been together for almost 13 years. He's my best friend and has always said I'm his. We have rarely fought over all of these years, but this past year has been hard and we've been fighting more. I've tried to express to him multiple times that I've been more lonely lately and my depression is really bad. I don't expect him to be my therapist or anything like that, but I also feel like he's not very supportive anymore. He has a group of friends online that he is constantly giving advice to, reassuring them that they're doing great, and that they're loved. I mentioned it during a fight and he just got into how I'm jealous. Which I can admit, I am jealous. Not because he has friends, but because I feel that he is more invested in helping them. He kept saying that they're not getting anything that I'm not, but then tells me my emotions aren't his problem. So it seems that they are getting something and I'm supposed to just live with it because I'm jealous if I don't. He twists my words when I try to express things that bother me and flat out told me as long as he's not hurting anyone, his actions shouldn't matter to me. I always feel like I'm the villain even though I'm trying to tell him my boundaries or that I'm really struggling with life. I often feel like crap after expressing my feelings to him, like I'm out of line for feeling alone. Even when I said my depression was really bad, he just said "welcome to the club". My husband is a good guy and doesn't do much to cause issues, but I really feel like I just don't matter as much anymore. I'm not perfect or even close and I've caused issues for us as well, so it's not all on him. But I feel crazy because I don't think the level of love and care he used to provide is there anymore and he doesn't see where I'm coming from. I don't really know how to handle this. I'm not sleeping and I'm constantly anxious and upset. I just wish he could see that I'm breaking.
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