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Shadeshack
1 3,202 M Seeking Light
PathStep 215 Compassion hearts259 Forum posts361 Forum upvotes483 Current upvotes483 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceOctober 7, 2016
Bio

Hi all, I'm Shadeshack. I suffer from cptsd, and pmdd. I took many years off this platform but now i am back. That being said, I'm pretty shy, but definitely friendly! So don't be afraid to say hello

Recent forum posts
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Self compassion and acceptance
Trauma Support / by Shadeshack
Last post
 April 2nd
...See more Hi Guys, from childhood trauma and a toxic past romantic relationship, i have developed disorganized attachment. I have just finished one year with a new partner who checks all of my boxes and whom i admire as a person. He has been my rock when trauma has brought me to my knees. I feel as though i am the toxic one in this relationship with how often i break down and become dysregulated. I have hurt him intentionally, and i have taken accountability for any mistakes i have made. There is no doubt our love is strong but i have a lot of worries based on past experiences. How do you guys cultivate self acceptance and compassion when you know you are not showing up as the version of yourself you want to be. (I am chronically ill and dx with a new mood disorder recently. )
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Mental Health and reputation
Depression Support / by Shadeshack
Last post
 March 13th
...See more I feel like my extreme lows make me seem unreliable to my loved ones. I feel like i cant show up as the version of myself that i want to be and i hate that. It is so frustrating.
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“Performing healthy habits with no reward”
Disability Support / by Shadeshack
Last post
 March 9th
...See more Hi all, i was wondering if any others have felt the same way as me. I feel like i am desperately doing the “right things” for my chronic illness. But instead of feeling better, i am still ill/in pain. It exhausting to perform good health with no reward. The reward in this case would be feeling less ill and more energized.
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Friends with your therapist?
Depression Support / by Shadeshack
Last post
 February 6th, 2017
...See more My first experience with a therapist in college was an interesting one. We connected really well, but it was like we were friends, our sessions became fun conversations between friends. After her internship at my school was done, she still counseled via emails, I really felt cared for. Eventually the contact stopped and I found myself in dispair, taking the liss of contact personally. In hindsight, I realized that I felt that I had lost a friend, not a therapist, as they can hurt in different ways. I hadn't made as much progress with her as I do with my current therapist. I realize that everyone's different and has had different experiences with therapists. I want to know if anyone else has been in a situation where the felt they were close to their therapist, or was even friends with their therapist. How did it work out with you? Did it help you or harm you?
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