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Shyness98
5,117 M Seeking Light 8
PathStep 139 Compassion hearts306 Forum posts174 Forum upvotes240 Current upvotes240 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceAugust 14, 2017
Bio
" You can't hate yourself into a version of yourself into someone you can love"
Recent forum posts
I Feel So Worthless and Defeated
Depression Support / by Shyness98
Last post
November 17th, 2023
...See more I’m honestly so tired and my body is shaking by how scared I am. I work in a school with a group of five women and I’m starting to hate it. My boss has been scolding me left and right and I can’t take it anymore. I’m counting down the days until the school year is over in June. I’m just praying that I get through it. I just can’t take it anymore. I feel so worthless like I can’t do anything right just because I don’t fit in with my coworkers or because I’m not quick on my feet like them. I’m so miserable. I don’t know how to enjoy my life anymore.
Nail Polish Is My Love
Hobby Zone / by Shyness98
Last post
November 16th, 2023
...See more Lately to cope with my mental health I've been experimenting with nail polish. I love nail polish lately. It's my favorite thing right now. I love sparkly nail polish especially light pinks and white. I bought this unicorn top coat from sally hansen and it's my favorite thing in the world right now. I get anxiety when I buy too much products but I kind of cheated the system a bit by buying a mini nail polish set from Marshall's it's a 15 piece set and it has tons of pretty colors. It's perfect because they're tiny nail polishes and I think I'll use them all because of how small they are. I'm loving nail polish lately because it's what's giving me purpose during a difficult time. 
What if I’m not good at anything?
Depression Support / by Shyness98
Last post
October 24th, 2023
...See more So I work at a school and it’s starting to take its toll on me. I feel trapped and almost like it’s starting to spill into my personal life. I feel like I live for pleasing my boss and I’m tired of that. I’m looking for new work but so far there’s nothing I can find. I’m starting to realize that I get sensory overload and I might not be able to take the stress anymore. I feel like if I can’t handle this job I won’t be able to handle anything else. I’m still going to school and don’t know what to do anymore. I guess I want support and to know I’m not the only one who feels they’re always messing up.
I think I had a breakthrough
Motivation & Accountability / by Shyness98
Last post
May 15th, 2023
...See more So I’m 25 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Even my friendships dwindle because I’m so dang avoidant. I’ve been to therapy and I try to read ever self help book under the sun. The reason I’m so avoidant is because of my parents and how they raised me. I blamed them for everything and then after reading a book, I realized that even if I had a traumatic childhood that doesn’t mean that I can’t have better adulthood. The hard pill to swallow is responsibility. I always felt like I had to fix and stay stuck on the past and it was easier to avoid people to avoid disappointment. Every year I have anxiety over the things I didn’t do because I was so afraid to do it. I was stuck on this fixed mindset of oh well I can’t do it so why bother. I’ve been growing every year little by little. I’ve accepted that I’m in my own little lane and that’s okay. It hit me that I could potentially have a meaningful connection with someone and yes it will be filled with disappointment but that’s okay because what isn’t disappointing in life. This is what I was avoiding my whole life. Putting myself out there because of my fear of rejection.
I read the most amazing book
Reading & Writing / by Shyness98
Last post
April 10th, 2023
...See more I read Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb and it was so emotionally moving. It had a lot of hard hitting quotes that inspired me to live life even though I don’t have it all together. Who does anyways? The books whole theme is about not having our lives together and how it’s okay and it’s never to do the things we want to like falling in love for example. One of my favorite quotes is “Failure is apart of being human” I recommend the book and hopefully you guys can tell me what your favorite quotes are.
An Avoidant’s Journey
Relationship Stress / by Shyness98
Last post
June 11th, 2023
...See more I’m 25 now and I’ve never been in a relationship. My whole life I’ve had unrequited crushes and every time I’ve been close to being in a relationship I’ve sabotaged it. I’ve always been subconsciously attracted to unavailable men. It’s always been easier for me to be alone. I always thought that I liked being alone but that was something I told myself to not put myself out there. After a long personal growth journey, I think this is another step I need to take. I’m excited to put myself out there but I’m also nervous. I downloaded a dating app but I’m still apprehensive. I’m trying to keep my expectations realistic and being compassionate with myself.
Thank you
Anxiety Support / by Shyness98
Last post
March 16th, 2023
...See more I just wan to take the time to thank the people that make this community a positive place. I don’t have many friends and sometimes this the only place I have to turn to when no one is there. I’ve come here on really bad days and all I want is someone to listen and validate me. Thank you so much you guys and I hope you guys are blessed with all your kindness.
Do you ever feel like a screw up?
Anxiety Support / by Shyness98
Last post
March 14th, 2023
...See more So I work with kids at afternoon program and I’ve only been doing it since November. It’s really tight ship and we have to be overly cautious about supervising the children. We use walkies to communicate and we have to radio the kids when their parents are here. When I radio the kids I repeat myself because there have been times when I radioed and my coworkers have been like “um no one said anything” so I feel like I don’t win either way. I’m annoying when I repeat myself and when I don’t, I didn’t say anything. I’ve been making mistakes and I feel my boss gets irritated. I understand her frustration but sometimes I’m making honest mistakes. I feel like if I was in her position I’d be frustrated too but I also want to be compassionate with myself because I know I’m trying my best. I wish I could do better and hold my own. I wish I was one of those people that knew what they were doing. I do feel like I’m doing the best I can and that’s all I could do. I don’t want to beat myself up because name a human who hasn’t made mistakes.
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