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Long term friendship ended roughly

Relationship Stress / by Smithly918

October 4th, 2025

...See more I recently have had multiple conversations with some very close friends about my partner feeling disrespected and ignored by them. I also discussed them feeling any disrespect from her and apologized for it. The first conversation I had with them, I just wanted to get their side of the story so I don’t twist any words or get something wrong, and I told them this. I apologized for not bringing this issue up sooner, explained why I did so, and explained how I added to the issues. I also apologized for them feeling disrespected. Now the last conversation we had involved my parents, who have seen more stuff involving my partner and have also felt disrespected by some of their actions. It got a little tense, but that was expected. I even started the conversation off by apologizing to them for feeling disrespected, and that I just wanted to bring up certain things and try to clear things up. Overall, I got my points across and explained what I saw as disrespectful and how it made these people feel. I also apologized again for them feeling how they do and also made sure that I told them (multiple times) that they were not the only ones at fault, and that I know they didn’t do this intentionally. At the end of the conversation we all agreed that the next best step was to have another conversation and clear up anything else. We then had a normal talk about life and I then thanked them and they left. It seemed like it went ok and we all agreed what should happen next. However, the next morning I get a long text explaining how the conversation was an attack on them and that we were yelling at them. They then said that we’re cutting ties and they don’t want to sit down and talk anymore. I then sent a message back explaining how I never said all of this was on them. I even tried to explain some things again to make sure that they could understand where I was coming from. The next text that I got was filled with untrue things about my words or actions. I was told that they never got an apology for anything, that I was saying this whole thing was their doing and that I said they were doing this intentionally. They also said I ghosted them for a year and changed up for my partner, which just wasn’t true because I had texted in our group chat a couple weeks ago and had hung out with them a couple months ago (and many times before that). I even showed them screenshots of all the times I went to hangout with them. We even had a conversation before all of this happened discussing all of us not being as close. I apologized and explained that I have been dealing with a lot of life stuff, and they understood and agreed, but I never ghosted them. I still tried to make time for them. I even invited myself to their birthday dinner, which made me feel awkward because I wasn’t apart of the plan. When I tried to address these things, all I got was silence. I took this as disrespect, and as if they had a narrative in their mind that they treated as truth. In my mind they didn’t have the respect to actually listen and observe the things I was saying or doing throughout the whole situation, and I thought that they didn’t care about it at all, myself and my partner included. A couple weeks of silence go by, and a social media post joking about getting blocked was posted on our side. It was lighthearted, truthful (we were blocked before we had our last conversation), and I didn’t think it was that deep, especially seeing how they reacted after the conversation. I admit that it probably wasn’t the smartest thing and it probably was super tone deaf, but at the time I just wanted to try and joke about this whole thing and stop being upset by it. That’s how I tend to deal with things. And again, the message I got from the response was that they couldn’t even respect me enough to speak truthfully about the things that went down. They got very offended by the video and reached out. One of my friends instantly turned to insults and slight threats. I told him why it was posted and even apologized for it. I then explained my side of this situation (because he wasn’t ever apart of the problem, so he wasn’t at the conversation). He admits that he only heard what happened from one side and that he would talk to them, which led to him saying we were both wrong. The people that were actually involved also reached out. They said that we were lying. I explain to why it was posted to them and discussed other things. They end up saying I did apologize for the whole thing and they know that i wasn’t trying to put the whole thing on them or blame them, which is not what they said originally. They also tell other untruthful things, saying that my partner has been nothing but disrespectful, and they start bringing up things that they never told me about and were claiming that I wasn’t listening at all. But in the next couple messages, they admit that they didn’t bring up every scenario and that I addressed the things that were brought up. It was super confusing and just confirmed what I was already feeling. Should we have made the post, maybe not. I agree that it was very tone deaf and in hindsight it just stirred the pot, but it genuinely wasn’t a lie or trying to a bad picture. It was just trying to joke about a situation instead of being mad or frustrated with it. This whole situation could’ve been handled better in my opinion and I wish it was. Big learning lesson for sure, but I’m am still frustrated with how they responded to a conversation that I thought went well. Idk this whole thing has been a mess, I feel like I have apologized for what I did wrong, but I don’t know how it could’ve been handled better besides the thing about the post. TLDR: conflict over my partner feeling disrespected led to a very messy ending to a long friendship I had with people.

Don’t know what to do about college

7 Cups Online Therapy / by Smithly918

January 15th, 2025

...See more I took a gap semester off of college and I have been actively trying to go back this coming semester. Classes start this 13th (real soon) and I just now was able to get my scholarship back earlier this week. I’ve been applying to housing and I haven’t heard much. My two options that I have right now are a lease for a split apartment for around 950 a month. However, I wouldn’t be able to move in until Thursday the 16th, so I don’t know what I’ll do or where I’ll stay until that move in date. They also have yet to send me the lease agreement. I also have an offer with 3 roommates for 1300 a month plus utilities, which I don’t think I’ll be able to afford. Both of these options aren’t exactly ideal and I really don’t know what to do. I’d be moving in super unexpectedly and very short notice which isn’t exactly fair to my parents or especially my girlfriend. I’d also have to quit my job on the spot. It might be better for me to take this semester off as well and work towards a cna license and more medical experience and then go back to college the following spring, but I’ve been really wanting to go back. I’m just kind of lost and stressed about this whole situation.

I don’t like my own birthdays

Depression Support / by Smithly918

September 3rd, 2024

I wish I could restart life

General Support / by Smithly918

August 26th, 2024

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