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Strawnana
1 3,738 M Seeking Light 3
PathStep 210 Compassion hearts285 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes60 Current upvotes60 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 19, 2016
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Why I am depressed- venting
Depression Support / by Strawnana
Last post
 October 16th, 2016
...See more And so Midterms are next week for me, I would post a photo of me studying and saying I got this however I dont. I am studying and doing my best in school. I am doing everything to stay afloat. For 7 months I fell in love for 9 months I have now been in love. Love hurts and it burns. Watching the person you love fall burns and pulls at you it hurts you so badly that you feel it yourself. When you have to focus on yourself you forget because you care about someone else. Then space.... You can have space to focus on yourself you can tell yourself you need it. Maybe it is best for you. But there is someone waiting because they made a promise to wait and to be together during the time of waiting hurts. When they other doesnt communicate when all the other did was put them first. Maybe selfish is the right answer maybe it isnt. I am not selfish.. I am selfless. I gave more then 100% and I am doing my best to do my own thing but it hurts. Never ask someone to take care of you unless you mean it. Because if they care about you then they will. They will be there to have your back as partners should... As friends should. No I am not happy, I am hiding behind a mask, I am doing what I have to and yes it has been a rough year. I wish it was 2017 In 2016- - I had to go to the hospital for somthing that was not my fault - I lost my best friend to his depression - Depression began to rule me and my partner - School became a struggle - I fell in love - I made a close friend and got rid of people who weren't - Goals were made - my partner started losing his battle with himself - I stay because I want to and because I am foolish - I went to the hospital again but now for depression to help myself - I made mistakes and didnt want to lose another person close to me - I wish the past could be mended but it cant - I am waiting for him to be alright - I feel so sad inside -I realized I am beautiful and I can do it - I am more then a puppet for others - So many I's yet this post is how I feel and that is not selfish that is venting In 2017 I will still wait. But I will make it better
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ptsd
Safety & Knowledge at 7 Cups / by Strawnana
Last post
 October 11th, 2016
...See more Which forum would help someone suffering from ptsd?
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How depression feels to me
Depression Support / by Strawnana
Last post
 October 6th, 2016
...See more The daylight hurts The darkness hurts Everything around burns The feeling of a rock in my chest Pounds me everyday untill I want it to end If you could reach in and just take out the rock Maybe it would go away The rock is my burden , I am a burden I don't want to bring others down I want to talk but push them away Untill I sit on my bed crying all day Chores pile up, trash and laundry The windows never open I fear if they do I'll look down and jump But I hold tight to the bed Irritable and angry Not what I wanted to feel Numb to everything nothing ever feels real Sharp objects are not my friends nor are belts or string So many things I want to do but I can't move While I stare at the wall and sigh It physically hurts to get up and go shower Then I sit in it letting the water flow down my back I stay huddled in a ball hoping silently somthing will happen Hopeless , alone, empty , anxious , but no emotion. Wanting it to end but not having guts to do it. Crying when you reach out to a friend then pull back because you don't want to burden them. That is what depression feels like to me
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