Why I am depressed- venting

And so Midterms are next week for me, I would post a photo of me studying and saying I got this however I dont. I am studying and doing my best in school. I am doing everything to stay afloat. For 7 months I fell in love for 9 months I have now been in love. Love hurts and it burns. Watching the person you love fall burns and pulls at you it hurts you so badly that you feel it yourself. When you have to focus on yourself you forget because you care about someone else. Then space.... You can have space to focus on yourself you can tell yourself you need it. Maybe it is best for you. But there is someone waiting because they made a promise to wait and to be together during the time of waiting hurts. When they other doesnt communicate when all the other did was put them first. Maybe selfish is the right answer maybe it isnt. I am not selfish.. I am selfless. I gave more then 100% and I am doing my best to do my own thing but it hurts. Never ask someone to take care of you unless you mean it. Because if they care about you then they will. They will be there to have your back as partners should... As friends should. No I am not happy, I am hiding behind a mask, I am doing what I have to and yes it has been a rough year. I wish it was 2017

In 2016-

- I had to go to the hospital for somthing that was not my fault

- I lost my best friend to his depression

- Depression began to rule me and my partner

- School became a struggle

- I fell in love

- I made a close friend and got rid of people who weren't

- Goals were made

- my partner started losing his battle with himself

- I stay because I want to and because I am foolish

- I went to the hospital again but now for depression to help myself

- I made mistakes and didnt want to lose another person close to me

- I wish the past could be mended but it cant

- I am waiting for him to be alright

- I feel so sad inside

-I realized I am beautiful and I can do it

- I am more then a puppet for others

- So many I's yet this post is how I feel and that is not selfish that is venting

In 2017 I will still wait. But I will make it better