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Sunshineanddaffodiles
295 M Embraced 2
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceApril 2, 2023
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Falling
Poetry / by Sunshineanddaffodiles
Last post
 August 12th, 2023
...See more I’ve been falling for so long I don’t think I’ll ever climb back up I fall and fall screaming and screaming for someone anyone to see me and yet they have all disappeared everyone I’m alone scared screaming and falling falling falling down down down I grasp for anything anyone anywhere a hand a wall but it all falls away as I fall farther down I hear my cry’s and silent screams for help I hear the monster in my head who stole my joy the mirrors that hurt my body the broken bits of my heart floating around me darkened and shattered from being shared and smashed over and over again I see the walls the walls I built so high not even I could see over them I feel the sinking feeling and the loneliness the long nights of crying wishing I would just disappear all the poison inside my heart the very air I breathed those I trusted the poison was everywhere I see the breakdowns and the feeling of being torn apart by those you trust the constant worries and overwhelming anxiety constantly beating me down I fall and fall huddled trying to make it all go way I shout and scream but I can’t even hear my screams I’m simply falling eternally forever shattered terrified and the darkest coldest loneliness down down down the hate I see in the mirror down down down the broken feeling of being your own worst enemy down down down lost friends down lost family down shattered scared broken alone falling forever
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I don’t want to fight anymore
Eating Disorder Support / by Sunshineanddaffodiles
Last post
 May 12th, 2023
...See more I’ve been calorie counting and not eating for days at a time it’s gotten really bad I feel like I’m fighting myself right now for the past couple hours I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m ok to eat and that I need to eat but the side of me that says I don’t deserve it because I ate on Wednesday and I didn’t deserve to eat so now I can’t eat because I need to punish myself because I ate and that now I have to exercise I want to give in and give up and just let this fight win I feel like the general feeling like this was when I went snowboarding and found out my weight on the page and it freaked me out and now it’s all I can think about I feel like I’m constantly worried about how I look compared to others or how I don’t deserve love or food or how it’ll make me gain weight I feel like I’m falling and I just want to give up I just don’t want to do this anymore part of me just wants to starve myself I don’t want to get out of this hole in a way I just want to curl up in a ball and not be here
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