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TPuddin8118
148 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJune 14, 2021
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Ready to leave
Relationship Stress / by TPuddin8118
Last post
 July 18th, 2021
...See more I am unhappy in my marriage. My husband has been verbally and emotionally abusive for a better part of our relationship. We have been married for a little over 2 years and together for about 3 years. My breaking point was on our anniversary this past April when he cussed me out for the entire hour and half car ride and then most of the car ride back. After that I knew that I had to figure out an escape plan. I was going to wait until I found an apartment and then file for a divorce before I moved because I don't know how he will react. I think that I forgave him so many times that I just quit caring or I have finally seen him for the narcissist that he is. I was distant and quite which caused a lot more arguments and things got to the point where we were arguing almost daily. I got the strength to get him out of the house only for 3 weeks later he bullied and guilt tripped his way back in the house. Now I feel trapped he is being overly nice and trying to be overly lovely and I feel annoyed kind of angry, but guilty for feeling this way. He has changed some he has quit drinking, got a job and like I said he has been nice, but i know it is just an act. He gets mad when he doesn't get his way he still makes smartass comments, accuses me of things im not doing, twists my words around says I've said things I haven't said. Whenever I bring up anything that he does or did i get told I'm living in the past, wants constantly admiration for everything that he does. I'm feel guilty for wanting to leave, I feel like I am being mean and toxic. I also feel like my boundaries are not being respected.
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Escaping Narcissist marriage
Trauma Support / by TPuddin8118
Last post
 July 18th, 2023
...See more I am in the early stages of leaving my husband. We have been married for 2 years and together for almost 4. I was not in a good place when we first got together which I think is why missed or ignored so many red flags. He has mainly been verbally and emotionally abusive and things have gotten bad in this past year and I had been thinking divorce the final straw for me was a few instances. In December on my birthday he called me the n-word among other things. Then we had to do what he wanted. It was around that time that he was getting for and probably doing drugs with his mother and sister which was causing a lot of fights between us. That was around the time first looked into what I would have to do to file for divorce. We had just moved so for residency reasons I had to wait 6 months to file in the county we are in (which would have been May). I kept that information in the back of my head. In March my oldest son moved in with us the same week his kids were visiting. He would try and make me feel bad for talking with my son who I had not really got to see in over a year. He was mad because his kids were on their phones more than spending time with him, but he would also pout and leave if he was not the center of attention. In April on our anniversary again we had to do what he wanted and he cussed me out called me all kinds of names for almost the entire hour and half drive to where we were going because I wasn't as excited as he thought I should be and because I said something about him drinking and driving. He was fine once we got the restaurant and as the night progressed, but started again on the way home. I was every name in the book because I played a song he either didn't know or like. That was it that was when I decided I was done. Since then I started to come up with a plan to leave. I'm sure he knows something is up because things have gotten worse. More snide comments, more of him expecting everyone to jump when he says so and getting mad when it doesn't happen. There is also more of him acting like the victim, he will act nice but then still make snide comments and then get mad when I'm not falling all over him and the vicious cycle continues. I've recently been in contact with a few people because things have gotten to a point where I think I'm going to have to speed up my escape before things get worse.
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