Ready to leave

I am unhappy in my marriage. My husband has been verbally and emotionally abusive for a better part of our relationship. We have been married for a little over 2 years and together for about 3 years. My breaking point was on our anniversary this past April when he cussed me out for the entire hour and half car ride and then most of the car ride back. After that I knew that I had to figure out an escape plan. I was going to wait until I found an apartment and then file for a divorce before I moved because I don't know how he will react. I think that I forgave him so many times that I just quit caring or I have finally seen him for the narcissist that he is. I was distant and quite which caused a lot more arguments and things got to the point where we were arguing almost daily. I got the strength to get him out of the house only for 3 weeks later he bullied and guilt tripped his way back in the house. Now I feel trapped he is being overly nice and trying to be overly lovely and I feel annoyed kind of angry, but guilty for feeling this way. He has changed some he has quit drinking, got a job and like I said he has been nice, but i know it is just an act. He gets mad when he doesn't get his way he still makes smartass comments, accuses me of things im not doing, twists my words around says I've said things I haven't said. Whenever I bring up anything that he does or did i get told I'm living in the past, wants constantly admiration for everything that he does. I'm feel guilty for wanting to leave, I feel like I am being mean and toxic. I also feel like my boundaries are not being respected.