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TheAloneKid
60 M Embraced
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2016 Member sinceFebruary 13, 2016
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7 month since breakup and still having thoughts
Relationship Stress / by TheAloneKid
Last post
 February 13th, 2016
...See more It has been around 7 months since my ex and I broke up because of some mistakes we made together. For a while I thought I had gotten over the thoughts and feelings and that I was ready to move on but in all honesty I still haven't even after all this time. She has moved out of town so I can no longer see her and I feel if I message her I would get in trouble by her family. We had a happy and healthy relationship going and it honestly felt like true love (I know it sounds foolish) because with her I actually felt safe, happy and just at peace. Nothing else mattered when I was with her and I was just truly happy. When we her family made us break up it always pushed me to self-harm and I was getting suicidal thoughts for a long time after (i still do occasionally). When i was with my ex it felt like my depression was disappearing and I didn't feel sad anymore. As soon as we broke up my depression instantly came back severely and with severe stress and anxiety as well.
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Not an easy life.
Depression Support / by TheAloneKid
Last post
 February 15th, 2016
...See more I have not had an easy life as I have been bullied, harassed, judged, ignored, threatened and called many things throughout my life and it has lead to depression. When i was with my ex it felt like my depression was disappearing and I didn't feel sad anymore. As soon as we broke up my depression instantly came back severely and with severe stress and anxiety as well. I am not a normal person and I have not had a happy eventful life as most have. I don't have any self-esteem or confidence in myself anymore and for a long time I have been doubting if i really am good at anything because with everything I try to do in life it always feels like its just too much for me. I have trouble learning and never really have the support that I should have in life as most of my friends have left me. I am starting to think I am slowly drifting away from being social as more and more I feel myself loosing interesting in normal things that I use to enjoy. There isn't much that brings joy to myself anymore and sometimes it's beginning to feel like the simple everyday tasks are just getting harder and harder as I just don't have the same motivation or energy to do anything. I always give my all to help others that are struggling but i refuse to talk to anymore about what I am really going through because every time I have tried people have just given up and said I am too complicated. I just don't know what else I can do anymore and it just feels like I haven't even got the motivation or strength to change anything as now it all just feels pointless as the one time I fully open up and let go to be happy it lasts for a while then it is all torn away from me fast. I have been asked what do I think my purpose is in life and what my life goals are. Honestly there is no answer to those anymore as when I try to look to the future or think about the future and what I want for myself all I see is nothingness.
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