7 month since breakup and still having thoughts
It has been around 7 months since my ex and I broke up because of some mistakes we made together. For a while I thought I had gotten over the thoughts and feelings and that I was ready to move on but in all honesty I still haven't even after all this time. She has moved out of town so I can no longer see her and I feel if I message her I would get in trouble by her family.
We had a happy and healthy relationship going and it honestly felt like true love (I know it sounds foolish) because with her I actually felt safe, happy and just at peace. Nothing else mattered when I was with her and I was just truly happy. When we her family made us break up it always pushed me to self-harm and I was getting suicidal thoughts for a long time after (i still do occasionally).
When i was with my ex it felt like my depression was disappearing and I didn't feel sad anymore. As soon as we broke up my depression instantly came back severely and with severe stress and anxiety as well.
Believe it or not, 7 months isn't that long. It may take longer for you to fully heal from the break up.
Your depression alleviated when you were together because they brought you happiness and it came back when you broke up because you relied on them to bring you happiness when you can only rely on yourself to bring happiness. I made the same mistake in my last relationship. It's been about a year since my break up and I'm only really feeling like I'm getting somewhere now.
You will find your happiness and peace on your own, but it takes time and you have to be willing to grow on your own. I totally understand how you're feeling and fully sympathise. Break ups are so painful, but you can get through this.