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TheChippedCup
512 M Embraced 4
PathStep 38 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts27 Forum upvotes22 Current upvotes22 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceFebruary 26, 2018
Bio
Hi I'm Chipped. I live in the UK. I am a huge Star Wars and Marvel fan. My current favourite author is Pierce Brown. I'm a PC gamer. I love to explore everywhere I go even if it's in a book, game, city or forest.
Recent forum posts
Advice needed.
Relationship Stress / by TheChippedCup
Last post
 August 15th, 2022
...See more I didn't know what to title this so sorry for being vague. So me and a friend started getting a little flirty via text and then things got nsfw very quickly. We haven't had chance to meet up and talk face to face because conflicting schedules or literally too tired to wanna leave our houses after work haha. But also we haven't really talked about what this is via text either. One of this persons traits is he doesn't always reply to texts and he'll also fall off the radar for periods of time, which I'm fine with and I'm used to by now, I don't get concerned I just know he's doing his own thing. The crux of the problem is I'm a chronic over thinker, and instead of my brain just being like "it's cool, this will go at its own pace bc it's so and so, it'll sort itself out". No my brain likes to say he's not interested in me etc etc. The only way I can literally get him to answer questions is when I see him face to face in the wild which is once in a blue moon. Which again is expected of him. He works weird hours and weird days and they like to take advantage of his days off too. I'm just unsure of how to proceed you know. Or atleast how I can distract my anxiety enough so I can stop over analysing and over thinking haha. Sorry this was just a ramble and a vent. I have asked him bluntly on our chat what's goi g on with the us situation but I know I won't get a reply hah . Thanks in advance.
It's complicated
Relationship Stress / by TheChippedCup
Last post
 September 7th, 2021
...See more I don't quite know which sub thread this needs to be in. So sorry if I'm in the wrong place. It's a complicated one. I think I have started dating someone. This someone is a friend of mine. As a little backstory we've been friends for a couple of years, I developed a crush, told him and he very polietly rejected me. We stayed friends and I moved on. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I finally get him to come to the pub with me for a chill out and a drink. We were sitting together, having a nice chat and out of nowhere he starts to hold me hand. (we only had two drinks so we're still put together). This was unexpected but very welcome, I know I said I moved on but I still liked him. Once we leave the pub we continue holding hands. When we get back to our cars he kisses me and he talks about taking me on dates etc. As it was late we parted ways as we'd also arranged to go out somewhere the day after. The short of the next day was it was an amazing day out to one of our favourite places. Here's where it gets complicated. 1. We both have anxiety and that was one of the reasons why he rejected me the first time, we were both in a bad place. Though now, one would assume that both of us are in a better place and he was ready to make something of what we had between us as he made the first move. Plus I didn't even know he interested in me. 2. He's not the greatest at texting, which is something I understand, he's dyslexic and he is a better communicator face to face. So one of the ways I've had to get in contact with him is face to face, which is at his place of work. He's said that he's aware of how confusing the situation is for me and he doesn't want to be an asshole but his anxiety has literally been dialled to 10 with this and other things so he needs time to process and he has promised he'll get back to be eventually. Which I understand. I am going to be patient with him, he's a really great guy and I really want this to work out between us. BUT My anxiety is a needy bitch. As much as I know I need to give him space I just have this need to know if he's ok or not. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with wanting to know where this is going and letting him have the space to breath and come to me on his own. I suppose one blessing in his favour is that my car is broke and won't be running for like a week so I won't be popping up like a daisy at work. I think I just needed to get this off my chest and ask for some advice on how to rein in my anxiety to help him out. I know talking to each other is the best way to do things but I need to take my mind off wanting to constantly text him or call him because that's not gonna help. Sorry if that was a mish mash of non sensical riff raff. I tend to just let the words fall out and hope someone can make a picture out of it.
Stuck in the dreaded cycle.
Anxiety Support / by TheChippedCup
Last post
 January 19th, 2020
...See more Backstory: With bf for >9yrs (he's been my only bf). He broke up w/me, nearing 2yrs now since. One main point was that he would sulk if I didn't give him attention 24/7; even if I was dead tired from work. In essence he craved attention to feel happy. As much as I hate to admit it, I have found myself feeling the same. Twice. 1st one was a stereotypical crush at first sight thing. He was the first guy to take an interest in me outside of my work friends and friends I shared with the ex. We became friends, I developed feelings and found myself craving his attention to a point of I could only feel happy happy when he paid me attention. And when i realised it I hated myself for it. I addressed the issue with him (he's not interested in me) and he suggested very kindly that I wean myself off him and talk to someone a little more professional, as a friend can only take you so far. Which I have been but my financial situation atm means I can't see my counceller atm. Through convos w/ counceller I have come to terms that this guy isn't interested in my in the slightest and I've moved on. We barely even talk and he has made no effort to be my friend. 2nd. He was a work friend (he moved away) I didn't like him when he first started but as I got to know him we became friends, and for the past few months we've been talking almst everyday, especially now that he's moved. We're good friends and over a short period of time we've gotten to know each other pretty well and I've confided in him about a few things and he's done to same to me. But know I can feel myself becoming dependant again. I've been staying up late just so we can chat when he gets home from work. I don't want to ruin this friendship, he's such a nice guy , I love being his friend. I'm happy being his friend and the possibility of moving on to more doesn't sound like the worst. But I'm so afraid that I'll mess things up like I did with #1. I have asked friend 2 if I can have a day where I wanna try and not talk to him and see if I can reallign myself and see if I can go a day without needing to talk to him and see how I feel on the other end. I hope tomorrow goes positively for me tomorrow. I will try and talk to my counceller ASAP. Sorry for the long post, my mind is chaos.
How can I start making sense of emotional pain?
Anxiety Support / by TheChippedCup
Last post
 August 7th, 2019
...See more (This is long sorry) For instance, physically I have pain in my elbow. I know this because when I move it it hurts. I can tell what kind of pain it is from a little examination. Its not muscular or skeletal but a trapped nerve because of how it feels and what pain response I am getting when I poke my elbow. I also have figured out the source of the pain is likely from sleeping funny and trapping the nerve in my ulner. With the right treatment and some rest the pain will subside and go away on its own. Like with most other physical pains. So why do I have such trouble with figuring out what kind of mental pain I am in?I have gone through all the same steps. I do not know what kind of pain that I am in only that I am in it. I do not know where the source of my pain is coming from and with that I do not know where to start treating it and how. If you were to ask me what is wrong (on that deep emotional level) I would genuinly say I dont know or I am not sure. Not because I am avoiding answering or I am looking for a way to deflect but because I do not know where to start. Or if what I think is the start is really the root of the problem. Or how its evolved in to this maze of uncertainty in which I am horribly lost in. I know I need help with my mental help but I dont know where to begin. Does it stem from the breakdown of my 9& year relationship? Did this storm start brewing before then? I have made some progress in the past 18ish months with my mental health. I have actually had conversations with a friend about the tough stuff without completely shattering. And this is a HUGE thing for me, my normal way of reaching out to people was usually from behind a keyboard but he got me to talk things out face to face. Not everything but some small things and I am so thankful for him for it.
Feeling anxious and confused.
Anxiety Support / by TheChippedCup
Last post
 March 15th, 2020
...See more Sorry if this gets a little long or all over the place. I have a hard time organising thoughts. So basically I have a friend who I only really see at his work place. I have feelings for him and he knows as I wrote him a letter and he wrote one back but it never came in the post. So we talked in person after he'd finished from work and he said that it would be better for us if we just remained friends because it was better to have a good friendship than try and force a relationship which neither of us are ready for and ruin what we have. Which I totally agree with, I really enjoy spending time with him and talking to him. My main anxiety issue at the moment is that I feel as if my really good moods are reliant on speaking to him or seeing him. Which I know is bad and I know I shouldn't be reliant on a singular person for my good moods; so in turn it makes me feel bad. Now that summer is ramping up we are both getting busier with work so it's going to be harder for us to hang out after work or even on mutual days off. I don't know if I should talk to him about this problem. My other way of dealing with anxiety is to write mock letters to him (I've only given him the one). But I don't know if I should or when I would even write. (He's not so great at answering texts, that's why I wrote the letter in the first place)
I don't know if it's me or him.
Anxiety Support / by TheChippedCup
Last post
 May 24th, 2019
...See more There's this guy I'm interested in. We talk frequently face to face but it's mostly when he's working and we both work strange days so finding a day off together is hard. I should mention that he is not that great at answering messages. We did spend the day together once and it was really great and I want to do it again. But here is the problem. I have tried to ask him out again but he is either busy or we haven't got the same days off; which is understandable. He's busy at work so I can't get the chance to ask him; messaging him doesn't work as he isn't great at reading them. or a new one that's come up is I have become emotionally unstable and have had to leave before I could ask him because I was on the brink of tears. I don't know what is causing it, I know that my anxiety is at play here but this is a whole other level of nerves. Im struggling to maintain my mood, I have broken down twice now ( not infront of him) and I just have this litany of "you're not worth it" and "He doesn't even like you." Even though there is evidence to the contrary. I have been advised by a mutual friend of ours that I should ask to talk to him face to face the next time I see him face to face. But I am so nervous to see him now because the last time I saw him I was on the literal verge of tears. The brave side of me wants to talk to him because then there would be some resolve and some closure to whatever way this goes and my muddled mind can focus on the next stress in my life. On the I don't know what's causing it front I am talking to a doctor to see if there is a physical symptom to all this because I apologise if this is TMI but I have been on my period for nearly 3 weeks now. So physical side of things is being looked at. And this is my mental side of things being looked at.
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