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UncertaintyWellKnown
290 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2018 Member sinceSeptember 4, 2018
Bio

Hello there, I am a 25 year old dealing with depression and anxiety. I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to get from this... I guess just connect with like-minded people and hopefully be able to talk through things with those who get it.

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The Media
Trauma Support / by UncertaintyWellKnown
Last post
 September 29th, 2018
...See more Even though it's already stated in the forum title, I'll say it again (we've got to look out for one another!)... *trigger warning* I have had a number of experiences with sexual harassment, and I've also experienced sexual assault on more than one occasion. The first time I was assaulted I was a teenager. It happened at a party. After the fact, I tried to confide in friends who in turn told me I was most likely imagining it differently, exaggerating, or all together lying. It was such a horrible feeling; knowing what happened to me and having no one believe me. It began to take its toll on me and eventually I started to bury it and even tried to convince myself that they were right; maybe I really was exaggerating or remembering things differently because I had been drinking after all. As the years went by and I had more experiences with harassment (and another assault), the memories I had buried so deeply and for so long began working their way to the surface. It seemed like everything became a trigger; hearing the same name as the person who raped me, someone grabbing my wrist, the smell of beer, the way someone talked, being alone in a room with someone of the same sex as the rapist, even seeing someone with a smile that had a gap between the front two teeth could send me into a panic attack. I started to confront what I was feeling, and started to come to terms with the fact that I had indeed been raped, on top of the other experiences I had). I thought I was starting to overcome things; I no longer threw up or went into a panic attack at the smell of beer or seeing someone with a gap-toothed smile. I felt like, finally, I was beginning to heal. But then over the last several years with the media attention following cases like Brock Turner, Larry Nassar, and now with the coverage of the Ford vs. Kavanaugh debate I'm finding myself struggling again. I try to avoid, as much as I can, listening to the debates between news stations, friends, and even family but it feels like I can't escape it. I am glad that this issue is finally getting the attention it needs and I'm beyond thrilled by the empowerment among survivors that the #metoo movement enabled or encouraged; it has made a huge impact. But especially now with all the controversy, I feel completely overwhelmed and unsure of how to deal.
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Depression and my support system
Depression Support / by UncertaintyWellKnown
Last post
 September 5th, 2018
...See more Hey to anyone that may read this. I am 25 years old and diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Growing up mental health wasn't something that was really talked about in my family so I never learned how to have that conversation or how to even really identify what was going on with me. After dealing with my depression for over 10 years, I finally got to a point where I knew I needed help and so I finally started getting medicated and going to therapy. I felt like I was making progress but at the same time all the help I was getting was from strangers. I hit several low points over the last several years and hit one of the worst ones I've had in awhile, several months ago, so I decided I needed to expand my support system to include family. I ended up talking to my parents about what's been going on and how long it's been going on for. I expected them to have questions and for them to get emotional but my mom in particular started to blame herself. I tried explaining to her that it wasn't anything she or my dad had done, this is literally just the way my brain is wired. I'm not really sure how much she believes that but I could see how much it was affecting her. I noticed though, since letting them in on what has been happening, the conversation has somehow changed and is more about catering to their needs and supporting them, reassuring them. It's been quite frustrating and I often wish I hadn't said anything at all. I thought the whole point of telling people, especially your parents, was so they would support you... but I feel like I'm the one that's having to support them. I tried to lay out very clearly what my needs were but every time they ask me how I'm doing there's that twinge of feeling like I can't tell them the truth or else I will have to comfort them for the next hour while they cry and ask where they went wrong or how they should've known all those years ago. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how did you handle it or what have you found that works for you in terms of a support system?
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