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Vitani
10,188 M Pacing Forward 3
PathStep 27 Compassion hearts108 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 1, 2016
Bio

I'm Grace, 1993. I'm diagnosed autistic.

I speak English, Italian and Spanish.

I live in Europe.

I like videogames and animals.


Recent forum posts
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What to do when your friend says you are toxic
Self-Harm Recovery / by Vitani
Last post
 February 24th, 2019
...See more Hey there. Self-harming has never been the first problem in my mind, I've never watched at it like a disorder. It was just a reaction I had, it couldn't be so bad, I thought. But. When I was in therapy I tried to talk to my therapist about it, but I've felt so judged that I've stopped talking about it. That's probably the only thing I've kept hidden from her. I just went on like it was a reaction, my private thing and not a bad disorder. Uhm... Lately I've talked to a friend about it, after after a bad day... you know what kind of bad day. She seemed fine, a bit worried but, well, I guess it was normal. I've tried to reassure her I am fine and it isn't something I do every day, and that I'm not suicidal at all. But yesterday, talking to her, she told me that she feels obliged to answer to me because she feels bad for me, and that she thinks our friendship is a bit toxic. Moreover, she feels pressure because she's afraid I could harm myself if she gave me a wrong answer, like it was some sort of a quiz show. I've felt so hurt. I've never talked about it to someone, except for my bff, and she loved me and understood me just fine. I thought I was safe by telling to this other friend, we've talked everyday for more than one year. And yet, it seems that all she sees in me now is a problem. I feel so wrong and hurt at the same time... and I didn't know who to talk to...
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I feel so alone.
Eating Disorder Support / by Vitani
Last post
 February 27th, 2019
...See more I don't know if this is the right place to talk about it but, well, I'll try. I'm 25 and I've never been diagnosed with an ED, nor that I know. But... When I was 17 I've been diagnosed with lactose intollerance. I had a lot of stomach ache and so but in that period I managed just fine. Some years ago my problem intensified. I don't know if it was because of anxiety or some trauma I haven't identified yet, but I've started to fear food. I've began to eat less - I don't even like eating - taking away everything that could arm me. I've seen doctors, I've taken some exams for gluten and so but I was negative to other disoders. I'm like [edited by Anomalia to remove weight specifics], probably not so thin but, well, a lot weak. I'm seeing a nutritionist, but I'm still very afraid of food and eating. It's not about becoming fat or something, it's more like suffering and feeling pain while I'm away from home. Some months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with stomach ache and I went to the bathroom, but I guess I freaked out for some reason because I remember calling my parents later and fainting in the hallway. Some weeks ago I got scared and had another panic attack, and now I'm starting to be afraid of my period, eating and going to the bathroom too. All physiological functions I shouldn't fear, right? But I'm afraid I am falling into a deep hole here, and I can't find anyone that ever felt like me before. I can't see a therapist because of money, and... I don't know. I'm scared and tired.
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Tumblr
Newbie Hub / by Vitani
Last post
 February 14th, 2016
...See more Bless tumblr. I wrote "sad" on the searching bar and then there it was. :)
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