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Vivikun9
1 19,809 M Progress Road 9
PathStep 192 Compassion hearts5,598 Forum posts253 Forum upvotes465 Current upvotes465 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceNovember 24, 2022
Bio

Hello, my name is Vivi. I am a artist in the USA. I struggle with mental health and im not here just for support but to learn and understand other people. 

Like in the musical "Into the Woods"

No one is alone

- I struggle at the moment:

-anixty 

-depression

-autism 

-symptoms of PTSD/CPTSD

I draw anime chracters, backgrounds, write (learning) and I love to perform magic tricks. I'm also a witch as well.





Recent forum posts
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Autism and writing
Autism Support / by Vivikun9
Last post
 April 28th
...See more Hi everyone,  Im in a critical thinking class and we do write. Has anyone had issues with writing? Like you know what your brain knows (topic and knowledge) but you can't find a way to write it down. I sometimes feels like in a linguistic is like a skill is almost something I have to learn but don't know how. 
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I might be demibisexual
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by Vivikun9
Last post
 September 14th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, I have been questioning about my sexuality of late and while I will talk to my theripist about this but lately I been been thinking that I might be demibisexual. For years (since high school) I been bisexual but of late I feel demibisexual as I know I had trauma in emotional relationships and sometimes i dont know what questions to ask myself sometimes or where to start. Like I had crushes but they never go well... the questions I want to ask myself are blank and I dont know what to ask myself. Any help or advice?
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3 years later
Trauma Support / by Vivikun9
Last post
 June 19th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, its been awhile since I been on 7cups. But some news besides im back in school, I have been on my post traumatic growth healing for some time. 3 years ago I was falsely accused and my "friends" decided to belive my abuser and after all these years (what i learn from classes) they communicated (there silence approach in the realtionship) that they were not good friends. Some days the trauma hurts but im am great full for being with my theripist and there are times if disclosing my trauma to my partner (if it happens) will be a benefit or a risk but I feel a bit better knowing it was not my fault for being dehumanized and treated like a problem. My heal path is still going but im taking it my own steps
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Finding my purpose
Student Support / by Vivikun9
Last post
 June 30th, 2025
...See more I'm currently back in school (after a two-year hiatus for trauma healing) and I'm aiming to be an illustrator or animator (manga/anime artist), but I also show interest in psychology. I know art therapists exist, but I don't fully know if it's the right path for me. I even wonder what I could be, as if I can be an illustrator or an art therapist. One part of it is, I might not be able to afford my master's in fine arts or psychology, but the one that is bothering me is, "What would be my purpose?" I guess  I wonder how people find purpose in the degree they work hard towards. its like im low self-worth of myself but i wonder how to find purpose when you are still healing.
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Toxic friends affected my whole life
Friendship Support / by Vivikun9
Last post
 February 10th, 2025
...See more I feel sad that my whole life is been in a cycle of toxic friends and people. It only recently where I finally see the negative people/energy in my life where I feel sad, sick, and just... ashamed. I know it's not my fault but it feels like it is my fault. Like I cursed myself through my own subconscious to not trust people but if I do I will only get hurt. I finally saw after a person I cared about passed away. We used to be friends on *** and we had a issue that will never resolved but as i thought about it more... the lack of communication, I was in a deep state of depression, wanted to branch out as a artist... it when I came to see that I was the only one reaching out, they would tell themselves I'm toxic but now I know that is not the case anymore... I feel stupid, sad, and angry at myself for not being able to stop the cycle of emotional abuse, toxicity, and I allowed myself to be with people like that. I wish it would end but sometimes don't know how
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This is my truma (tw: emotional abuse, neglect, and possable sexual abuse)
Trauma Support / by Vivikun9
Last post
 November 7th, 2023
...See more Hi everyone. I know I have shared my trauma from last year but I want to share this story to not just share but this for me to be vulnerable about my experience.  So being that I have autism, I grew up with neglect and emotional abuse due to how my thinking worked and how I struggled with communicating. I was a subject of emotional and neglected abuse as when the school thought I had ADHD, they decided that me taking medicine will help. But over the years, the school system neglected me... educational and soical as I did even learn how to write better till college. I still have flashbacks of times when I have these moments where adults... to me felt like just abused me by just... neglecting me... these were adults... and the students were no better... isolating me, gas lighting me, even pretending i didn't exist... I even had a ex friend who was trying to see if he like guys or not... and we did have nsfw stuff but he flat out cut me out after 2 nights of passion. I felt so heavy broken that I felt used... like a toy... it reminded me as I was 10 years old, I feel in love with my first friend bit then he moved away almost like he just left for no reason, then a neighbor teenager (10 or 12 at this point) showed me porn and idk why but I felt as he wanted something... I was not touched but it almost wish I was abused more but I know now that is not good thinking.  Even now as I move from my past and heal my trauma with my inner child. I felt as I was just made for abuse but even if I tell myself "you are worthy of love" it still counters with how words of love don't match with their actions... the only thing I ever wanted was just to love and be loved in return 
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Introduce
Autism Support / by Vivikun9
Last post
 July 18th, 2023
...See more Hi my name is Vivi. I was diagnosed with autism last year around my birthday. I am currently looking at seeing if my local resource center can help me with my autism with services but since im level 1 autism (high functioning) it's hard to say what will be offered to me. But lately, I guess I realize I was never good at communicating socially and interacting with people. Online I can do wonderfully but in real life it's tricky... even now... after the trumas I been through (in threapy handling that) its hard for me to interact with people since idk what to say or do plus... I just struggle to feel the strength I can offer when it feels like no one understands or sees them.
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My Truma Journey: June
Trauma Support / by Vivikun9
Last post
 June 3rd, 2023
...See more It's June (happy Pride month) and my healing on my truma has been going middle ground. Like im healing well and able to regulate my emotions but in my journey of healing... I keep learning how much pain I went through. I been through so much abuse to the point my truma makes it hard to talk about or find a way to be self compassionate towards myself as I been so... self-pity with myself as I keep thinking everything I went through was my fault even though it is not. Besides my theripist, I only a few people know it's not my fault but when it comes to validating my truma has affected me and having someone holding my hand and telling me "you deserve better"... I sometimes wish I have that feeling... of trusting myself and others so I can break my abuse cycle but im so scared saying my abuse outloud or silent to myself.
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