My Truma Journey: June

It's June (happy Pride month) and my healing on my truma has been going middle ground. Like im healing well and able to regulate my emotions but in my journey of healing... I keep learning how much pain I went through. I been through so much abuse to the point my truma makes it hard to talk about or find a way to be self compassionate towards myself as I been so... self-pity with myself as I keep thinking everything I went through was my fault even though it is not. Besides my theripist, I only a few people know it's not my fault but when it comes to validating my truma has affected me and having someone holding my hand and telling me "you deserve better"... I sometimes wish I have that feeling... of trusting myself and others so I can break my abuse cycle but im so scared saying my abuse outloud or silent to myself.