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WalldenFlower
1 201 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceMarch 15, 2021
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Wish I knew how to make friends
20 & Over / by WalldenFlower
Last post
 March 7th
...See more I'm on my early 20s and I have a life ahead of me, but ever since I left uni I can't help but notice people are not as friendly. I don't have many friends or people to fall back on that I really trust or even hang out with. Funnily enough, at work there's this new girl who caught my eye ever since her first day and because of past trauma I have not wanted to engage with her (she's far from me either way so it's not that hard), but today I decided to approach because honestly I'll survive the worse case scenario, but I froze, like every time I get the chance to do a little comment I freeze. I will get near her with some excuse in my head and I just follow through the excuse instead of talking to her. I don't want to interrupt her space and I don't want people to comment either, but even if I didn't care about any of that, for some reason I cannot bring myself to do anything and I hate it, she's not the only one it happens, to be honest I haven't had that feeling of wanting to befriend someone in a long time so it sucks.
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venting, feel free to hop in
Self-Esteem / by WalldenFlower
Last post
 August 11th, 2025
...See more I know i gave up on my dreams because, as one article i read a while ago put it, i got faced with the fact i'm not as smart and capable as i thought i was. I havent been able to willingly put myseft to do anything that had to require some effort ever since i decided to drop out of uni, even before that i couldn't, i had anxiety attacks everyday for a full semester because how much i hated being there and also because i couldnt bring myself to do anything. I have slowly but surely started to be able to do things again, not even 80% of the stuff i used to do, but i am starting to do certain things and they don't bring me anxiety or at least not as much as they used to. I feel like a failure in many ways even though i know it's not mostly my fault i can't do things and that i honestly pressure myself to do them if i dont want to, but it's evident for me how incompletent i feel, i subconciously know i am worth something but that doesn't mean i am know i am capable of doing great things. When i think about doing things that i used to do before, it could be organizing and planning, i feel so horrible and it's like i have this wall i cannot walk through, i feel like i am wasting my time and that nobody will appreciate it, that i'm dumb and i should just smile and nod, that my voice shouldn't be heard. If i think too much about it i can see how i can relegated myself to the role of the summisive doll, cannot say i hate it because i haven't been negatively affected by it, but i can say i was not like this and while some parts it is an improvement and i don't necessarely feel like i need to improve it, i can see how in the future it could lead me to places that could endanger me.
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College dropout that has absolutely 0 idea what to do
Work & Career / by WalldenFlower
Last post
 July 23rd, 2025
...See more I dropped out of college 7 months ago, I had 2 years left in my major and honestly if I didn't feel anxiety every day in that last semester I went in, I would have probably finished it unhappily. I was multimedia arts major and honestly don't know what I was thinking when I got into it, while I love media I don't have a creative bone in my body, at least not the one for that major. I started working as soon as I left and I hate the job and field I'm working in, it's finance related and while it's good to try new things I've always known that I don't like it. I just keep working because I don't have anything better to do but my god all I want to do is find something that makes me feel like those firsts 2 years of uni. I was a CM for my major's social media, I truly loved being in the club that managed it, but it wasn't the marketing part that I loved, I loved knowing that they were a huge mess until I got there. To be honest, CM was my dream job, I could talk about the stuff I liked and get paid for it. But things changed, I changed, and I couldn't bare being somewhere that meant numbers and growth rather than community, I didn't care about computers and tech, I realised I needed something that made me feel humane. Right now, I am trying to get 1 year in this job I'm currently am so it is easier to find jobs later on, even if it's in another field. I am doing everything I can not to quit lol. I wish I knew what to do to help myself but everything seems to be a bad fit for me, but at least I'm not as unhappy as I was while I was trying not to dropout mid semester.
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I don't know when I'm going to make friends I care about again
Friendship Support / by WalldenFlower
Last post
 July 23rd, 2025
...See more A year ago I decided to end my friendship to who used to be my bff. Even if I knew things weren't perfect between us and definitely saw our friendship breakup from a mile away, it hurt so bad it made me go wild for the first 4 months. Ever since we stopped talking I stopped being able to be friends with people, friends in the way I used to be with certain people. It wasn't until a few months ago that I realised I couldn't partly because I hadn't met anyone I connected enough to do that, and partly because I genuinely think I will never find something better from those 2 years I got to know her and her friends. While I feel better this way, it's kinda awful whenever I realise I don't really have people I trust to tell the little things to anymore, when I stopped talking to her I got fed up of being the one who took initiative in everything and a lot of other friendships felt apart. I don't really care about people as much as I used to, and I kinda feel anxiety at the thought of having a friend, specially if it's a girl. I only trust guys now and honestly the only guy I'd trust is possibly a bf. It's honestly sad how after we stopped talking one of my first thoughts was "well, a boyfriend wouldn't treat me like this" because up until that point I thought that friends were everything.
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