I don't know when I'm going to make friends I care about again
A year ago I decided to end my friendship to who used to be my bff. Even if I knew things weren't perfect between us and definitely saw our friendship breakup from a mile away, it hurt so bad it made me go wild for the first 4 months.
Ever since we stopped talking I stopped being able to be friends with people, friends in the way I used to be with certain people. It wasn't until a few months ago that I realised I couldn't partly because I hadn't met anyone I connected enough to do that, and partly because I genuinely think I will never find something better from those 2 years I got to know her and her friends.
While I feel better this way, it's kinda awful whenever I realise I don't really have people I trust to tell the little things to anymore, when I stopped talking to her I got fed up of being the one who took initiative in everything and a lot of other friendships felt apart.
I don't really care about people as much as I used to, and I kinda feel anxiety at the thought of having a friend, specially if it's a girl. I only trust guys now and honestly the only guy I'd trust is possibly a bf.
It's honestly sad how after we stopped talking one of my first thoughts was "well, a boyfriend wouldn't treat me like this" because up until that point I thought that friends were everything.
@WalldenFlower
🥺
Im sorry that you had this experience, sadly friends drift and it can hurt, but please don't close yourself off from trusting and meeting other friends. Allow yourself that opportunity. You deserve to receive the same energy back that you give in. Sometimes a friend comes into our life unexpectedly and ends up being the biggest support, don't be closed to it, sending you my best wishes 💕💜
@WalldenFlower
Hello and welcome to 7 Cups.
I am in the same boat as you, once I walked away from my bff of 12 years, I am in the same mindset. I will never find that person again. for one, I am highly introverted and shy. in 25 years with the same company I only had 3 friends but only the one I trusted enough with my inner secrets
But my problem is, she was my one and only friend at work that I could confide in and there will never be anyone to replace her. Heck Even though I have my wife, the conversations are/were completely different.
@WalldenFlower
the fact that you could be true to your feeling and end it is an accomplishment on its own and try not to focus on the past they helped you grow now dont let all that go to waste you may like who you choose and if someone cant see that you deserve to be love and if you cant either go past and find a future that you created your not in chains your free dont stop because of one stone on your path live your life.... trust me dont waste it