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Westley
577 M Embraced 4
PathStep 21 Compassion hearts24 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 6, 2015
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Growing Weed/Alcohol Addiction
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by Westley
Last post
 January 19th, 2021
...See more I turned 21 recently. I can legally drink, but I've been drinking long before then. Now, I can grab a bottle of whatever from the gas station with no issue. I also smoke weed regularly. I steal weed from others. Little bits at a time. Everyday, and everyday, I smoke up everything that I've snatched up. I steal alcohol, too. Everyday, I drink, but only before bed. Those few hours I have to myself. However, during the day, it takes everything in me not to pop open a bottle or start smoking. Because I don't want anyone thinking there's a problem. I can't bring myself to stop all of this, honestly. I have no friends, no ability to go out and do things, and I can't find joy in my hobbies anymore. I'm alone, depressed...And every night, instead of risking falling into a horrible state of mind, I turn to one of my two options and hope that, for maybe a few hours, I can have a false sense of happiness. I'm afraid that I'm not coping with my depression well and that I'll start spiraling into worse things as my tolerance grows, but I can't afford to get any kind of treatment to help with that, and I really don't want to turn to anyone I know for help. It doesn't feel right and I don't want them to think poorly of me or try to deprive me when there's no alternative that I can find solace in. I don't know what to do, and I don't want things getting worse until something awful happens. Talking about this feels makes me feel like I'm making a mountain out of an anthill.
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Long Distance
Relationship Stress / by Westley
Last post
 February 12th, 2017
...See more Okay, so I grew to absolutely love one guy. I met him back in 2012. He knew me better than I did, helped me through everything and talked me out of ending things horribly in my life. We we really close. I trusted him more with what I could tell no one else. We made plans to meet each other in the future and get married and all that. There are so many tedious things. Just last June, he disappeared. I don't know what happened to him. We talked as if we were to see each other in the morning and that was it. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've been dying since he left. I reverted back to my awful mental state and I've lost my ability to make art. I had a career planned in animation, and now I can't make anything decent. I want to wait for him, but I'm scared I will be waiting too long or he won't ever come back. I want things to go back to the way they were so I could be with him again and get my life back on track. He meant everything to me. I have tried moving on, but I still cry so often when I think of him. There are so many more little details that would help you better understand our relationship, but I feel this is too long already? Is there any way to fix this?
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