Growing Weed/Alcohol Addiction
I turned 21 recently. I can legally drink, but I've been drinking long before then. Now, I can grab a bottle of whatever from the gas station with no issue. I also smoke weed regularly. I steal weed from others. Little bits at a time. Everyday, and everyday, I smoke up everything that I've snatched up. I steal alcohol, too. Everyday, I drink, but only before bed. Those few hours I have to myself. However, during the day, it takes everything in me not to pop open a bottle or start smoking. Because I don't want anyone thinking there's a problem. I can't bring myself to stop all of this, honestly. I have no friends, no ability to go out and do things, and I can't find joy in my hobbies anymore. I'm alone, depressed...And every night, instead of risking falling into a horrible state of mind, I turn to one of my two options and hope that, for maybe a few hours, I can have a false sense of happiness. I'm afraid that I'm not coping with my depression well and that I'll start spiraling into worse things as my tolerance grows, but I can't afford to get any kind of treatment to help with that, and I really don't want to turn to anyone I know for help. It doesn't feel right and I don't want them to think poorly of me or try to deprive me when there's no alternative that I can find solace in. I don't know what to do, and I don't want things getting worse until something awful happens. Talking about this feels makes me feel like I'm making a mountain out of an anthill.
@Westley Hi Westley, I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. It takes great courage and strength to open up and admit one's addictions. You show vast self awareness of your situation; that is critical for recovery. If you'd like, you can check out the depression sub-community for further help and support if you haven't already. Depression Support
You are also welcome to reach out to the listeners at any time if you ever need someone to chat with. You do not have to struggle alone. We are here for you! Do feel free to keep us updated on how you are whenever you'd like. Best wishes, and have a lovely weekend. *hugs if you are okay with it* :)
@Westley I hope that you get through your struggles!
You’re in the right place and everyone here wants you in the right space. Letting go of these substances will really help in the long run. It won’t be easy but you can do it. You have so much of yourself to discover and with that new ways of coping. Healthier ways.