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Wishing4Dreams
1,042 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 88 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts66 Forum upvotes54 Current upvotes54 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2019 Member sinceAugust 12, 2018
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My Thoughts
Trauma Support / by Wishing4Dreams
Last post
 February 18th, 2019
...See more Hey everyone. I thought I would start a diary just to process what's going on inside of me and let things out. I've tried Journaling before but it feels lonely to just write things to myself and end up ripping them up or throwing them away. It feels better to write here where can relate to others. Not so isolating, if the makes sense. Anyway, I woke up at about 8 this morning to a familiar feeling of unease. This has been happening for a long time in varying degrees. Sometimes the feeling has been panic, sometimes depression, and other times I've woken in the middle of the night somehow feeling as if I'm not even real. Like life isn't real and nothing makes sense. Disoriented. That hasn't happened in a while but the ominous feeling when I wake has. Like I'm not safe, and I find myself watching the clock, hoping time will slow down so I can be home and "safe" a little longer and won't have to b out in the "scary outside world" that I must go to work or go buy groceries in. Here as of late, even simple tasks have become suffocating. I've been crying at random times, like in the car on the way home from work. Yesterday my husband was laughing really loud at something on TV and I had to go to the bathroom and cry silently for a few just to get my bearings. The loud noise just put me on edge like crazy.
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I'm back and the pain is nearly unbearable...
Trauma Support / by Wishing4Dreams
Last post
 August 17th, 2018
...See more Hello all. I used to be here as unassuming summer but I lost all my info on that account and my old phone was running badly and my app messed up so I'm here now...hope that is okay...too lost and hurt to worry over it much... I moved. Finally moved away from the town I was abused in for most of my life. Thank God. However, my new place of employment nearly ran me into the ground once I'd transferred to my current workplace. Overtime. 6 to 7 day work weeks with nearly all my days off split apart so I had no time to enjoy my life. Man it dragged me down. I felt stupid. Tired. Drained. Controlled. Finally had a big mental breakdown. I had been going non stop for nearly 7 months between my hubby and I partaking in the endlessly stressful search for a home and then when I finally got what I wanted I got taken advantage of. I missed 3 days of work straight just to have a break and ended up drunk, bawling and going into the worst flashbacks of my life. I nearly quit my job of almost 7 years due to this. Plus I got news that my father wasn't taking care of himself and in I'll health as well. That was enough to send me over the edge. Went into work on my 3rd missed day, almost in tears, telling them I couldn't do it any more. They did work with me and now I only work weekends which is a help. But I'm in a LOT of emotional pain. It's nearly constant now.
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