Xhaune Member Profile

...See more For me, social interaction has been very hard, but last year, i made really meaningful connections with people along the way They became friends, close friends, and I consider some of them as siblings. They are the ones who helped me up everytime my mental health becomes bad. Fast forward, School ends and we separated, although we still have connections and I can still talk to them, but, you know, sometimes, I just feel so empty and sad as they're not here anymore (and yes ofc, people come and go, but sometimes it's just hard to accept that) I have this kind of attachment issues since then that I always become so attached with people that I am closed with. Both a blessing and a curse. Now, in my new school and environment, I tend to avoid friendship, I avoid forming bonds, (i just formed connection with some of my classmates because yk I need to ask someone about homeworks and such). I avoid thosr because I know that they would all soon leave too when we changed paths. I'm just so scared for them to become the reason for me to be triggered and cause another bigger havoc in my mental health, especially that I'm still badly suffering from it. I think that having new close friends this time will help me or/and make me even worse. Because everytime that I would be happy, it would just leave a void in me that I would just start to trigger myself and I don't know, it just goes on, then I'll feel bad again. It's just I'm really really really having a very bad state of my mind. Sometimes I think that when I formed connections, I'll just become more thirsty for attention that will make me feel bad one more. It's like I want to have friends once again, but I just don't want to. And I really don't know/understand wth that is. Now I just want to ask..... Would I be able to survive this mental health battle alone? Would making friends make me bad again? What should I do? I can't bottle up everything in myself, and soon enough I might do something stupid again. But forming bonds can also make me worse.....

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