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YukiUchi11
1 339 M Embraced 3
PathStep 25 Compassion hearts34 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes18 Current upvotes18 Age GroupTeen Last activeOctober, 2025 Member sinceOctober 4, 2025
Bio

I am kind of introverted but I am willing to starr a conversation.. although I might be a dry texter so forgive me...

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Mom?? Dad?? Was all of that really necessary??
General Support / by YukiUchi11
Last post
 October 6th, 2025
...See more When I was still a kid, my mom would take her anger out on me. It really hurts because I could always hear her talking bad about me to the neighbors and to our relatives and each time they'd just agree like my feelings don't matter at all. And on top of that my dad would also call me "crazy" "dumb" and all the stuff you could emagine. I couldn't really laugh freely at home because apparently laughing to loud is being a ***, so I stopped laughing at home. She called me a ***, a *** by just walking, laughing, making small mistakes, or simply playing like a kid when I WAS LITERALLY A KID. In this household standing out for yourself is apparently disrespectful so all I could do is endure it all. Mom? Dad? Was that really necessary? When I was a kid, I always have had dandruff. As a kid, I would try to get rid of it because my parents said that it was disgusting. They thought I wasn't trying well guess what, I am. I can estimate my age around 6 or 7 when this happened. My parents dragged me into the shower and poured water on me before purposefully putting shampoo on my scalp and scrubbing the h3ll out of it. It hurt, it really hurt. As they were doing it they also said hurtful things that made me think I was disgusting. Their words cut me like it was the sharpest knife on earth. They poured shampoo on my hair 2 times and scrubb it like a cloth believing it'll remove my dandruff. I was a kid what else could I do? I cried thinking I was disgusting and I deserved it for not trying hard enough... I cried and cried as they continued scrubbing my scalf hard. Mom? Dad? Was that really necessary? When I was like 3 or 4 something I got into a small argument with my mom. My mon hit me with her hands and with a hanger. God only knows how many hangers have broken in the past years. My mom told my dad what happened and then my dad got mad. He scolded me more while I was already crying for the previous argument I had with my mom. He grabbed me and brought me outside where there was many people. I can only guess that he got annoyed because I wouldn't stop crying. With no words he left me there Infront of the people crying and crying. I felt hurt, embarrassed and humiliated. After a few minutes he came back and picked me up like nothing happened at all. Like he didn't just humiliate me Infront of others. Mom? Dad? Was that really necessary? This one happend like a year ago or 2 years ago I am not sure. Me and my little brother got into a small argument because he wouldn't behave snd we were in a family gathering. I accidentally pinched my brother out of anger. He told my dad ang my mom and my dad slapped me Infront of everyone. There it was again I was crying.. crying and crying... My relatives didn't care and agreed with my father. Eventually they called me down for dinner. The whole family was there staring at me looking like a mess. I was still crying. My mom was scolding my brother for giving her a hard time and she pinched my brother. I told her why would she do that? I got punished for it so it's wrong? Right? She slapped me. HARD. I was shocked. Infront of the relatives again? Like I wasn't already crying? My relatives joined in and told my parents that I should have been hit more. When will they be satisfied? Something similar also happened before this. I had bought some biscuits for myself but when I arrived home my mom suddenly slapped me again Infront of my cousin because I didn't buy one for my brother and he was crying. I didn't even know he wanted a biscuit. My mom never told me to buy a biscuit for my brother? How come she'd slap me like that for her own mistake? When will they be satisfied? Haven't I suffered enough? Mom? Dad? Was that really necessary? Every birthday, every family gathering. It seems like it was meant to hurt me or criticize me for the small things I do. Can't I breathe in peace? Can they really not see how tired I am? Will they ever stop? Back when I was still a kid we went to my moms province. My aunt and her kids were going to an event that was hosted by the province It was just near. Me and my aunt asked my mom If I could go with them. Obviously I was very excited because there were a lot of activities. I begged my mom and she got really mad. She scratched me and bit me. Her scratch caused the back of my neck to sting a hurt. She had scratched me and actually hurt me. My aunt was horrified and immediately took me with her in the event. She was shocked to see it.. she was like "why the flock would she do that?" And I said "but she always does it", leaving my aunt more horrified. Mom? Was that really necessary? I can't type all of my experience here because It would take me YEARS. But.. Mom? dad? Can you see I'm tired? Mom? Dad? Can you really not tell. Mom?? Dad?? Was all of that really necessary???
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WHY?...
General Support / by YukiUchi11
Last post
 October 5th, 2025
...See more memories attacked me today and my eyes won't stop crying even If I wanted to. The memory of my mom slapping me in front of our relatives while I was already crying my fathers hurtful words that day hit me like a truck once again once again. Why does every gathering feel like they're targeting me and purposely leaving me out. I have always felt this way since I was a kid, even when they gather on my birthdays. I don't feel celebrated, I feel humiliated, I feel judged, embarrassed and left out. My relatives would criticize me for the smallest mistakes and my parents just tell them more about how terrible I am... I am just trying my best... When I meet new people I struggle to get along well with them.. I always feel like there's a free trial and if that trial ends they'll leave me.. they'll replace me.. am I really that hard to love? When I am talking to someone I couldn't help but think they hate me when they seem too quiet or something just feels off, I feel like the trial has ended. I hate being abandoned and I am constantly being abandoned. When I was a kid my mom would take her anger out on me. And when I make ny dad mad it felt like the world is ending. He'd hit me with a hanger god knows how much hangers he broke hitting me. I'd cry, cry and cry but it seemed worthless so I learned to cry silently and comfort myself. Everyday I feel like I am being controlled and judjed just by being alive.. My parents would criticize me for being too fat or too skinny, for Having acne, for having dandruff and making choices. Everyday when I try to explain stuff to them it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall they won't listen and yell at me more. Because of this I always overthink when I try to do something.. When I was a kid, most of the time my mom would forbid me from playing with my cousins. So I stare at the window alone in a room where my tears go unnoticed. I have been left out since I was a child. Left out by my own family. I have grown apart from my cousins... I am envious of them because they're close and they look happy every gathering.. while I am just there.. always standing on everyones shadows.. when I feel slightly left out I would distance myself as far as I could just too keep myself safe from that feeling again.. I have stopped trying already Im tired of trying to be seen... Every night since I was a kid I woukd cry and cry and cry until I couldn't anymore. It's soo draining to be alive... I have been betrayed by my own family and friends... What have I done to deserve this? Why is it soo hard to atleast acknowledge me? Why is it soo hard to love me? Why? Why? Why?
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