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Z4IN
1 277 M Embraced 2
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts47 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceJune 6, 2026
Bio

Zain (he/it/they) 18 years old

Non-op transman genderfaun

Autistic + ADHD + Depression 










Recent forum posts
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GUYSS I'M AFRAID
Motivation & Accountability / by Z4IN
Last post
 August 29th
...See more I think I'm going to make a decision that can change my life. As an 18 year old transman in Iraq with Autism, ADHD and depression, in my last year of highschool, it's so difficult for me to continue this path (especially when I failed two subjects). And my first and last goal is to get out of my country as soon as possible to start my new life and become the guy I've always been with HRT. My focus began to shift towards Germany, and immigration programs such as those for artists and freelancers that do not require a school degree. But my fear is the reaction of those around me; they will think I am a failure instead of thinking that the usual path for neurotypical people (school -> UN -> hiring/employment) isn't ideal for me and I'm focusing on something else and they'll force me to repeat a school year. Plz tell me anything, advice or anything.
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Executive dysfunction is making me suffer
Autism Support / by Z4IN
Last post
 August 22nd
...See more So this year (6th preparatory) I failed two subjects In the first round, it left me so devastated and hopeless, and now my second round exams are in weeks and I haven't studied anything, It's difficult for me to start anything as an autistic person without experiencing executive dysfunction and overload, I spent this month postponing the start of the school year because of the psychological pressure I feel every time it approaches, I was in a actual loop, and I have thoughts of dropping out of highschool, I tried applying many tips, but they didn't help me. <\3
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Guys help I'm questioning my sexuality againnn.
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by Z4IN
Last post
 August 2nd
...See more Idk if I'm Omnisexual (currently) or pansexual, like I want to recognize the gender of the individual I'm with so I'm not gender-blind, but I don't have any preferences and love all genders if it's binary or outside the binary, and Omnisexual's definition is attraction to all genders but with prefrences (@_@)
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My country has failed me
Autism Support / by Z4IN
Last post
 August 4th
...See more Two days ago I went to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis of autism. I trusted him because of his board certifications in psychiatry and the fact that he is a member of the psychiatric board in my country. When I was speaking, I was very nervous and unmasked, fidgeting with my fingers and squishy, he was interrupting me with stupid questions, I showed him my RAADS-R test (that has the score 204, huge, huh?) and he seemed like he doesn't know what us it! And he was asking me stuff like "Do you cause mischieve?" No way, in the end he said "These aren't autism symptoms, it's just your nature" wow, then who has a depersonalization episode on the road and caused a situational mutism? Who told you about the early symptoms since childhood? What should I do now? Please help, cuz I can't bare any medical gaslighting again, thx.
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Confirming autism
Autism Support / by Z4IN
Last post
 July 23rd
...See more Hello, I'm gonna yap a bit about how I discovered that I have autism (I need help with with a professional diagnosis) ------------------------- When I was a lil child, my parents mentioned that I used to walk on my toes, they put on a lot of efforts to make me walk on my feet, and I had selective mutism mostly in the morning before I get some time to adjust, besides that lack of surprise I had whenever I get a present, and hyperfixations about anything I loved. ------------------------- When I became an elementary school student, I preferred solitude and had maladaptive daydreaming alone, some students tried to interact with me (because my mom was a teacher in my school), but I get so overstimulated and start crying when they crowd me, not to mention when I got my first friend, I was pushing whoever wanted to talk or play with them. Some of my teachers (mom's colleagues) suggested placing me in a special class for people with disabilities, but my mother strongly refused, considering it an insult to her, and insisted that I was fine. (One day I got SA'd by a teacher who was my uncle's ex-wife when I was 10, mom did nothing) ------------------------- I became a teenager, and my problems became clearer, I couldn't make any friends, and everyone looked at me strangely (or in a rude way) when I covered my ears because of the loud noises, I didn't know what was happening in cl*** sometimes, but I was completely focused, and I was "speaking strangely and using unfamiliar terms" as some people said, I didn't know how to explain my grades to my teachers, and they would take everything I did very seriously, I was approaching students in an unwanted or inappropriate way, laughed at painful moments of people, This made me resort to masking; I try to act naturally like everyone else and learn how to speak from movies and TV series, but it's exhausting because I've chosen other people's boundaries over my own. ------------------------- When I became 17-18, I started a deep research about it, My condition worsened (after the death of both my parents at different times, which led to radical changes in my life) and my guardian (aunt) refused the thought of me visiting a psychiatrist (In Iraq, Psychiatry is not recognized; it is described as madness or something exaggerated by the west) So I started researching and taking tests, and I felt bad that every test wasn't a diagnosis. And I discovered that I had symptoms I didn't know about but I experienced, such as: stimming (rocking back and forth, grazing my nails against my skin), interoception difficulties (I used to struggle noticing the urge to go to the bathroom, hunger and thirst until it's intense), and trouble with expressing my feelings. Lately I took the RAADS-R test, and I got the score of 204 (which is above +150) here I realized that I've been neurodivergent for so long since I was a child and none helped me out. ------------------------- Now, after I finished my highschool exams, I think of going to see a psychiatrist to confirm my autism, idk when will I see him but surely I will. And if you got anything plz say it in comments :3
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It's kind of unbearable
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by Z4IN
Last post
 June 16th
...See more My dysphoria reached a terrible level and I have violent urges, not exaggerating.
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Help (⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by Z4IN
Last post
 June 8th
...See more Idk what should I put in title Having a difficult time; my exams are in a week, and I'm under pressure and getting a lot of hate from Muslim homophobes, even my close friends, misgendering me or calling me slurs and names that makes me cry myself to sleep when I try to reason with them, they find me being queer and ex-muslim like and think I'm stupid and mentally ill. I felt utterly despaired. My dream was to obtain permanent residency in Canada and become financially independent for my ops, so I'm feeling like I wanna yk I can't take any of this.
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