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ac313l
1 514 M Embraced 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 9, 2023
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Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by ac313l
Last post
February 26th, 2023
...See more i was diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses by a young age. i was a victim of child neglect, and i was fostered and adopted within a few years by my father. ive lost multiple siblings in the span of a year. three brothers and a sister, all to suicide. after my eldest brother died my (adoptive) dad relapsed, took it out on us kids. he started going to therapy after my 2nd oldest brother died, and he's on meds, getting better. im supposed to be on meds for multiple things ive been diagnosed with. ive stopped, they often make me feel worse even if it stops my episodes - just recently i had an episode and ended up out on the street for multiple days as i didnt want to be home, then i was staying with my boyfriend. a few days ago i was in the midst of an episode and ended up getting into a screaming match with my father that ended in me having a suicide attempt. i dont remember much. i know my family is scared of me, but they continue to brush all of this off even though im asking for help. my dad is afraid that'll i'll leave him as well, and i dont want to, but i cant deal with my psychosis or episodes anymore, and im tired of meds. my dad doesnt want to put me into an in-patient institute because it worries him, but we both know i need it. i spend my days leaving in the mornings and not coming back home until 3 AM, out all night doing stupid things with my friends and boyfriend. i dont know what to do and i have no idea who to turn to or how to get help because, as much as my dad loves me, he's afraid to send me away or get me the intensive help i know i need. im so tired.
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TW: grief, death, suicide.
Depression Support / by ac313l
Last post
February 26th, 2023
...See more my older [adoptive] brother took his life about a week ago and im really struggling with it. ive lost multiple adoptive/foster siblings since 2022 but this is the hardest. he was my best friend and i wouldve done anything for him. he was a bad person, he was struggling, he could be emotionally/mentally abusive but he was trying to get better. he was 17 and had promised me he'd make it to 18 for me. i feel betrayed, i feel angry. i dont know what to do, it feels like it was my fault - he kept telling me he loved me that day and days before, i should have known. i was the one who found him when my father wasnt home, i was left to take care of my siblings until the police could get ahold of my [adoptive] dad. i cant ask my dad for help either. i have 10 siblings [9 of which are adoptive] living with, not to mention the 2 that are living on their own. he is pre-occupied with my younger siblings, i would feel awful taking away his attention from them.
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