TW: grief, death, suicide.
my older [adoptive] brother took his life about a week ago and im really struggling with it.
ive lost multiple adoptive/foster siblings since 2022 but this is the hardest. he was my best friend and i wouldve done anything for him. he was a bad person, he was struggling, he could be emotionally/mentally abusive but he was trying to get better. he was 17 and had promised me he'd make it to 18 for me. i feel betrayed, i feel angry. i dont know what to do, it feels like it was my fault - he kept telling me he loved me that day and days before, i should have known. i was the one who found him when my father wasnt home, i was left to take care of my siblings until the police could get ahold of my [adoptive] dad.
i cant ask my dad for help either. i have 10 siblings [9 of which are adoptive] living with, not to mention the 2 that are living on their own. he is pre-occupied with my younger siblings, i would feel awful taking away his attention from them.
@ac313l Hi. I am so so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. No matter if he was adoptive or not, he was still your brother. I can't imagine the pain you are going through, especially with having to help with so many other siblings. I want you to know that I realize you feel your dad is super busy with your other siblings for you to ask for support from him, but he's your dad and I'm sure he would be there for you no matter what. You are so strong and we are here for you too anytime! If you would like to speak with a Listener, you can join the general request queue or you can browse for one here! I promise you that you will be okay. Be kind to yourself during your healing process 💗
That sounds so hard. You are going to need lots of time to process it. I can imagine that you are continuing to experience waves of emotion.
Are you able to talk to people besides your dad?
How have things been going in the last week?@ac313l
@bestVase7265 i haven't been on here in a while, i apologize that im replying to this a month late - things have been odd, busy. im trying to distract myself, my dad is busy with work, i havent been to school in weeks. going back to therapy soon, been spending lots of time out of the house with my boyfriend. my dad wants me home, but being home just makes me feel really. stuck, i guess. so ive been out of the house most of the past weeks.
things'll get better im sure, i just have to try. thank you for asking xx : )
Getting out when you can does help. Glad to see that things feel a little better.@ac313l
