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affableBeechwood5932
135 M Embraced 1
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceMay 31, 2022
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Nicotine
Addiction Support / by affableBeechwood5932
Last post
 September 3rd, 2025
...See more I started smoking when I was 20 and it was more on and off at that point of time. Where I usually smoke when I’m out with friends and when we go out to clubs. It became a regular thing after a while where I started smoking at my apartment every night, the number just increased from 1 to 4 a night. All throughout the day I never used to smoke and at night I used to smoke at least 4 before I sleep. I got into a relationship after that and my partner did not like it and I quit for a while. But, things started back again when I moved away from her and started a new life in a different city. We were still together at this point and I hid smoking from her. I badly wanted to quit and stopped cold turkey and it lasted only for a couple of months. I started vaping after that and soon got addicted to it. I love the fresh mint flavour when I vape and I’m not able to quit doing it. This vice of mine is ruining my relationship with the one that I love the most. I tried quitting and it lasted only for a couple of days and I started back again. I’m reducing the number of times I vape everyday now and I try to keep myself engaged, but somehow this just doesn’t seem to work. I instead vape more when I do it after controlling my urges for a period of 3-4 hours. I just want to quit and start a healthy life. Someone help me with any tips and advices on how to do it effectively. I usually do it only because I feel bored and the flavour is just something that I like. I try to keep myself engaged, but I just can’t keep myself engaged for the whole day to keep myself from doing it.
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Advice
Relationship Stress / by affableBeechwood5932
Last post
 May 31st, 2022
...See more Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for about 4 years now. Before that, we were in a relationship with each other as well, but I was young and I was scared and I broke it off within the first few weeks. I didn't have the balls to pursue that one, but I didn't have the heart to let go of it either, i was confused and admitted to her about choosing between her and my ex. This was a mess, we stayed in touch after this, but not much, we did not get to meet each other for 4 years and after that, we met each other once and I felt bad for making her go through that and decided to grow up. This is when our relationship started. We were happy and good, for the first 2 years. Things started to change after she got pregnant unexpectedly and we had to abort it and she did it all alone as I was in a different city at that time and wasn't able to go meet her as it was during the pandemic and the travel was restricted. It was hard for the both of us, she was broken and I was broken too, I should have been strong and should have helped her, but it was the other way around. She's a strong woman. We moved in about 8 months ago and we had a little bit of a financial struggle after she moved in. I was trying to find a better job and I was depressed because I couldn't find a better job and the job I was doing was physically very demanding and I wasn't able to spend time with her, wasn't even able to take her to the nearby park. She made a few friends during this time and there was this one guy from her circle, whom she started getting close to. They travelled together and he gifted her a lot of things. During this time, I did not show the best of my behaviour, I got addicted to vaping and hid it from her. She found out one day and I said l'd quit, but I couldnt, and started hiding things from her, she found out again and stopped speaking to me. The sex gradually stopped going down, it went down even before she found out I was vaping. It went to no sex at a point, and she would come home late at night everyday, mostly after I sleep or maybe after I leave for work in the morning. I got a better job and when things were changing in a good way, i got a little suspicious and checked her mobile late at night and found out that she has been cheating on me with that guy. I was shivering and shocked to see that, and wanted to go out of the house for a walk to cool myself off, but she woke up and stopped me. I had to confront her and she said you weren't there emotionally and physically when I needed you, you couldn't spend time with me, I had a lot of problems with my life and you wouldn't bother to listen to those, and I do not regret speaking to someone about my problems. She said that it was never physical, he was more than a friend, a connection that she felt with him and they were close and cared for each other. I couldn't believe that and started getting depressed. She said she's done and I still love her and she said she still loves me. She said I couldn't face you and that she's done and I still love her and she said she still loves me. She said I couldn't face you and that was the reason I came home late at night, mostly after you sleep because I cannot fake being nice to you. I do not know what to do, she said she still loves me, and I realized what I have done. She said I pushed her there. She said she wants to move out and be separated for a while until she trusts me back again. I couldn't help but notice and go through her social media accounts to see if she's posted anything with that guy. She wouldn't stop speaking to him. I don't know what to do. Every-time I think about this, I get anxious and have a mini anxiety attack. She still speaks to me, says no matter what she still loves me. I love her so much too and I'm ready to forgive and give up all my vices to build a healthy relationship with her. I just need help getting over this act of her.
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