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akliis
350 M Embraced 3
PathStep 22 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts25 Forum upvotes31 Current upvotes31 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceDecember 5, 2016
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Coping with thoughts of self hatred
Depression Support / by akliis
Last post
 August 29th, 2021
...See more I’ve always had issues with self hatred and felt like something is fundamentally wrong with me, but when i try to get to the root of it I realize there isn’t really a rational reason. Despite knowing there is not necessarily a valid reason I still think of myself as a terrible, flawed person in the back of my mind. Does anyone have advice for coping with these sort of feelings when they come up?
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Am I A Bad Friend?
Relationship Stress / by akliis
Last post
 April 21st, 2021
...See more My friend recently told me that she feels I don't ever validate her emotions and I'm really upset. She is having problems with her boyfriend and cheated on him and has been freaking out. On multiple occasions, I have sat and listened to her cry and vent about this situation. I thought I was supporting her and helping. I listened and told her it would be ok and that she was valid to be feeling what she was feeling and so on and when she decided to tell him I was there until he got there telling her it would be ok and was the right thing to do. She went away with him this weekend and sent me a really long rant in the middle of the night when she was upset that kind of triggered me and I didn't know how to respond so I didn't really address it in the morning when I saw it. Now she is saying that I'm a bad friend and that I have given her 0 emotional support ever and I just don't know what I could have done differently. I have really bad social anxiety and she knows I am bad at expressing emotions but how does she not see that I am trying?
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Scared to Break up
Relationship Stress / by akliis
Last post
 October 22nd, 2019
...See more So, I've been dating this guy for a year. Our relationship is really weird and I am unhappy but I really care about him. I'm realizing that I have to break up with him but I am terrified. I met him a couple of weeks into starting college and he has been such a big part of this chapter of my life and I don't know what to do without him. Both of my roommates have really good relationships and watching them has made me realize that I want that too. I've been struggling a lot with anxiety and depression recently, so I probably have a slightly warped perspective here. I keep spiraling and thinking about how I won't ever be able to find someone else who will care about me. What I mainly need advice on is how to actually break up with him and keep myself sane while I do it. We are both really bad at communication especially about emotions and I have no idea what I'm doing. How should I initiate this and is there any way we could still be friends???
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Is this trauma??
Trauma Support / by akliis
Last post
 December 18th, 2017
...See more So recently I've been looking back on a relationship I had and I've been trying to work through some feelings it made me have and I want opinions on if any of it could have traumatized me. (Possible TW for sexual assault ) So I met this guy when I was a freshman in high school and he was two years older. I was ina relationship when I met him but about a year later I started a casual thing with him. At the time I was a virgin and really bad with relationships and boundaries. For a while I felt very uncomfortable about my relationship with him but I couldn't tell why. I was fine when I was with him but after I would not feel good about it. Another year later or so after he went to college, I started dating someone else. He came back to visit and I told him I was in a relationship and he said he would respect that. When he came over I ended up feeling pressured into making out with him and I felt so bad about it I ended up having a breakdown and self harming and instantly calling the girl I was dating and told her about it. Looking back now there were a lot of really not ok things he did. Some of this may have been more of a lack of communication, but a lot of times I was very uncomfortable with things he did during sex but I never said anything. There were a couple times he literally slapped me in the face or choked me for long periods of time without asking for consent first. One specific incident was while we were having sec he asked me to do something and I clearly said I didn't want to but he basically pinned me down and forced me. These are all things I didn't question until more recently when my friends told me their opinions of him. He came back a couple months ago and I was keeping friendly contact with him over Snapchat for a while, but I didn't really want to see him. He ended up showing up at my house twice that week unannounced and I just didn't open the door and I was on edge and scared until he went back to school. The day after first time he showed up I ended up driving to school sobbing because I was so upset. Over time I have had a couple nightmares about him and I had a panic attack and walking through somewhere we went together. im not sure if this counts as really traumatic. I was clearly affected by it, but I'm still not completely sure why he upsets me so much. I doubt that he realizes he did anything wrong and it could just be my lack of communication. Just hearing any feedback would be so helpful. Thank you 💕
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Residential??????
Depression Support / by akliis
Last post
 January 10th, 2017
...See more Ok so recently my depression and anxiety have been getting a little bit out of control. I have been seeing a therapist for almost a year now and I have been on meds for about 5 months and honestly neither are helping and i've been getting worse if anything. I'm so overwhelmed with life in general and I'm falling behind in everything because even like getting out of bed or taking a shower is about as much as I can keep up with. I've been exhausted and having really bad intrusive thoughts. The meds I'm on are making me exhausted. I went up in dosage and basically I would get 12 hours of sleep at night and still need to take a 4-5 hour nap during the day. I haven't been able to see my psychiatrist in a while and I would have to wait to switch meds and wait for them to take effect, and that is if it would even be the correct med for me. My family has basically no idea how to deal with me and it is resulting in them just getting angry at me frequently for not keeping up with work. Honestly right now going into some type of inpatient program sounds so good but I'm not sure what the requirements for that even are or if I'm just being overdramatic and Im just lazy. I know no one on here can give like a proffessional statement but I just want an opinion if this is even possible or if it would help me. And if not, what can I do? I don't even know but thak you in advance.
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Paranoid about pregnancy
Relationship Stress / by akliis
Last post
 December 8th, 2016
...See more I don't know why I'm so paranoid. I had sex with protection and I know there's almost no chance that I could be pregnant but I'm still freaking out. I don't want to take a home test or anything but I'm really paranoid and would like to ease this anxiety. Is it worth doing anything or should I just wait for my period in a week or so to see if I have anything to worry about???
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