Am I A Bad Friend?
My friend recently told me that she feels I don't ever validate her emotions and I'm really upset. She is having problems with her boyfriend and cheated on him and has been freaking out. On multiple occasions, I have sat and listened to her cry and vent about this situation. I thought I was supporting her and helping. I listened and told her it would be ok and that she was valid to be feeling what she was feeling and so on and when she decided to tell him I was there until he got there telling her it would be ok and was the right thing to do. She went away with him this weekend and sent me a really long rant in the middle of the night when she was upset that kind of triggered me and I didn't know how to respond so I didn't really address it in the morning when I saw it. Now she is saying that I'm a bad friend and that I have given her 0 emotional support ever and I just don't know what I could have done differently. I have really bad social anxiety and she knows I am bad at expressing emotions but how does she not see that I am trying?
Hey, I might not be the best person at giving advice, but I'll try. I don't think that you did anything wrong. It sounds like you're a great friend actually, but it seems like your friend has a lot going on in her life right now. Maybe she didn't see what you did for her, because she's overwhelmed by all of it. Nevertheless that's not an excuse to treat you like that. I know that expressing emotions is hard sometimes I can relate to that as I'm having a hard time doing that myself. But it might help explaining your point of view to her and remind her that you've been there for her and tried your best even though you struggle with showing emotion. Maybe a quick reminder is all she needs to see what a great friend you are. If you think about telling her, then I'd advise you to be calm though, because otherwise she could interpret it as a personal attack (out of my experiences). Don't let this whole thing bring you down too much. I know words like that can hurt, especially when you're trying your best, but it's not your fault and I'm convinced that you two are going to work things out.
@akliis
If what you did isn't considered a good friend then I don't know what is. Maybe she is the bad friend. That's so rude of her to say that to you when you're the one listening to her vent and confided in.
