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albouegrl
292 M Embraced 2
PathStep 25 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2017 Member sinceJanuary 23, 2015
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I Need Help
Depression Support / by albouegrl
Last post
 August 16th, 2017
...See more I can't find help though. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and gasping for air. I finally took the leap a little more than a year ago to seek help with my many struggles - the biggest of them being my axniety and depression - and I have had little to no luck finding sufficent care. It's become a very frustrating, time-consuming matter, and I've begun to lose hope. "Dr. So and so isn't taking patients right now." "Dr. isn't accepting insurance, private pay only." "We don't accept your insurance." "We don't accept patients over the age of 18." I could keep going, but I think the point is pretty clear. I lost count of how many offices and clinics I've reached out to over the past year asking for help and it's usually a rude, dismissive response. No offer to recommend me anywhere else. And then I have to do it all over again. Just recently, I had a mental healh/psychiatric hospital that my counselor referred to me for emergenices that all her clients use, that turned my husband and I away at the door whilst I was in the middle of a life-threating/hysterical episode (story for another time) and told they couldn't/wouldn't help. Whether they couldn't or wouldn't is unbenknownst to me because my memory from that day is not all there. I'm still livid about it. But aside from that - here I am. Still pleading for help. I keep trying to tell myself I can do it on my own and I don't need the support of anyone because people - in my experience - are frequently disappointing. But I just can't anymore. It's becoming too much and I'm breaking down far too often. And too severly. I've hit rock bottom more times than any person should in the recent short span of time that I have. My primary physician is only willing to do as little as she can get by with without really helping me. The medications don't work. I don't know what will work, but I need options. I need to know what's really my issue, I need help understanding why my body and mind act and respond the way they do and how to cope with it. But now that I've talked too much - let me get to it. Does anyone have any miracle stories about their own search for help? Any resources that might be helpful that you've personally used in the past? I'm reaching for anything. Please. Thank you.
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The thing about video games...
Addiction Support / by albouegrl
Last post
 June 16th, 2018
...See more My fiancee and I have been struggling for over a year now with his addiction to porn. It started out as a casual conversation when he told me that he would never watch porn as long as I was uncomfortable with it. Long story short, this wasn't entirely true. I caught him time and time again and I tried everything to get across to him how badly it upset me and that I needed it to stop. It was ruining our intimacy, my self-esteem, and our sex life. After the year mark, I found 7 cups of tea and spoke to one of the lovely listeners on here. She brought me to an understanding that the porn was more than likely less of a personal attraction to my fiancee than I had previously thought. Since then, we've begun using it as an "aid" during sex (though mostly for him because I'm still terribly uncomfortable with it, he does the watching). Now, we've come across another problem. Since the porn, he's taken a liking to 'sexy' video games. If you're unfamiliar with the gaming community, mods are a means of adding personal content to a video game. My fiancee's personal content includes pornographic and risque features that make me almost as uncomfortable as the porn itself. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm really at fault here, should I just learn to get over it? My fiancee refuses to remove it just for my comfort and I don't know what to do. It's come to the point where I'm dwelling on it daily. I need help.
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