I Need Help

I can't find help though. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and gasping for air. I finally took the leap a little more than a year ago to seek help with my many struggles - the biggest of them being my axniety and depression - and I have had little to no luck finding sufficent care. It's become a very frustrating, time-consuming matter, and I've begun to lose hope.
"Dr. So and so isn't taking patients right now."
"Dr. isn't accepting insurance, private pay only."
"We don't accept your insurance."
"We don't accept patients over the age of 18."
I could keep going, but I think the point is pretty clear. I lost count of how many offices and clinics I've reached out to over the past year asking for help and it's usually a rude, dismissive response. No offer to recommend me anywhere else. And then I have to do it all over again. Just recently, I had a mental healh/psychiatric hospital that my counselor referred to me for emergenices that all her clients use, that turned my husband and I away at the door whilst I was in the middle of a life-threating/hysterical episode (story for another time) and told they couldn't/wouldn't help. Whether they couldn't or wouldn't is unbenknownst to me because my memory from that day is not all there. I'm still livid about it. But aside from that - here I am. Still pleading for help.
I keep trying to tell myself I can do it on my own and I don't need the support of anyone because people - in my experience - are frequently disappointing. But I just can't anymore. It's becoming too much and I'm breaking down far too often. And too severly. I've hit rock bottom more times than any person should in the recent short span of time that I have.
My primary physician is only willing to do as little as she can get by with without really helping me. The medications don't work. I don't know what will work, but I need options. I need to know what's really my issue, I need help understanding why my body and mind act and respond the way they do and how to cope with it.
But now that I've talked too much - let me get to it. Does anyone have any miracle stories about their own search for help? Any resources that might be helpful that you've personally used in the past? I'm reaching for anything. Please. Thank you.