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ameythst333
468 M Embraced 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts47 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes15 Current upvotes15 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceApril 13, 2022
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What I wish people around me did to help me
Depression Support / by ameythst333
Last post
 August 25th, 2022
...See more I wish they would actually sign me up for therapy like they said they would for 4 years now. I wish they took my computer and phone and saw all my searches and how worrisome they are. I wish people would notice more without me having to reach out, I've reached out so many times before and it has now become a thing that I feel like people should want to ''check in'' on me for. I wish they wanted me in their lives more like inviting me to things, but that has stopped now all the invites and wanting to be around me, all the trying has stopped. And maybe I do wish people cared more, I wish they would actually want to help like really help cause no one is willing to do that for me and I'm tired of asking and making cries for help.
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What I hate when people try and comfort me that doesn't help at all
Depression Support / by ameythst333
Last post
 September 4th, 2022
...See more I find it very unhelpful when someone relates their depression to mine as people always will have different experiences with it and it affects everyone differently, so using it as an example feels immediately invalidating. When people shame my bad habits that are due to my mental illness in hopes of embarrassing me into ''getting better''. When people try and make me explain why I'm sad and the reasoning behind my depression, (sometimes I'm just really sad and hopeless for no exact reason). They get mad at me for being anxious or being ''lazy'', it makes me feel like an annoyance and really hard to be around and that makes me much worse. Not ever really listening to how I'm feeling, just dismissing me and saying it'll get better if I try. Anyone making jokes about me being ''crazy'', sad, or mentally ill, it makes me feel like my pain is funny to the people around me. Being pushed into big life changes or out of my comfort zone because that's what I ''need'', a lot of the time I need my comfort zone because I am too unstable at the moment to be taken out of it, it has high negative effects on me.
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I really need advice/help
Depression Support / by ameythst333
Last post
 May 8th, 2022
...See more Hi, I am really struggling with thoughts of not living and would love any advice on how to cope or deal with this cause it’s feeling impossible
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A poem about depression
Depression Support / by ameythst333
Last post
 April 23rd, 2022
...See more When I was little and I disliked to brush my teeth I just didn’t and when I hated learning something I stared at the classroom wall in a symbolic protest thinking it would make the whole school not exist any more And when I decided I hated silence I talked so much that I filled my lungs with thoughts before I did my mind And when people crowded me I flung their presence away with total dis regard for the benefits of being liked that far exceed my age My little respect for authority glared off of me like a warning sign and I didn’t care I would walk for hours in circles just because I didn’t t want the normalcy of stillness And wait until other people cleaned up my messes because I could live in filth for way longer than anyone Id known could And everyone around me admired this even in their annoyance for me not being compliant and it taught me that this was a good thing But in life you have to do things you hate And hating every mundane thing that is a part of living is hating life itself And being so headstrong that you wanna d!e isn’t as adorable as it use to be -Adri
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School/college anxiety
Anxiety Support / by ameythst333
Last post
 April 13th, 2022
...See more I have struggled with the idea of school almost my whole life. When I was in elementary, I had dyslexia (that I still obviously have now) but they couldn't understand my learning disability for a long time and didn't officially diagnose me with it until 3rd grade. This of course resulted in feelings of in superiority among my other classmates. But as you are young you don't really notice that it takes a toll on your grade as well as your time and effort that you have to put in compared to the other people in your class. Growing up and realizing this has made me put extreme unhealthy amounts of pressure on my self to succeed, often putting my self worth into my academic sufficiency. I started college last year and am in my second semester of my first year, and school is definitely a big source of stress for me. Last semester I was taking a stats course and the teacher really sucked and I had failed a quiz that I had studied basically night and day for. It really threw me for a loop and I couldn't stop crying and stressing about the whole situation. To a point where I was not eating and not sleeping so I decided that this teacher was making it way too stressful for me than I could healthy handle and dropped the course. Ever since then my stress for every single course following has been greatly increased. My late Start courses have just started and I am feeling very stressed about the amount of work and my ability levels, looking over each syllabus multiple times and having running racing obsessive thoughts over it. Basically acting as if I had to finish all that work by the next morning. My family has comforted me and offered more help in 10 fold with my courses and it calmed me a little but I still feel very overwhelmed. And I know that if I fail a course it doesn't matter at all and I could just take it again it's not life or death but my mind is making me think it is. Anytime someone even mentions school around me I get a rush of anxiety. My friends talk about doing bad in a class so casually and regularly like its a part of life and it doest really matter and I need to know how to do that. I wish so much that I could break this importance that I put on school and realize its not that big of a deal but I just can't seem to lift the pressure off of me. I am desperate for relief from this and am open to advice and suggestions of any kind from someone that has also dealt with this before.
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