What I wish people around me did to help me

I wish they would actually sign me up for therapy like they said they would for 4 years now. I wish they took my computer and phone and saw all my searches and how worrisome they are. I wish people would notice more without me having to reach out, I've reached out so many times before and it has now become a thing that I feel like people should want to ''check in'' on me for. I wish they wanted me in their lives more like inviting me to things, but that has stopped now all the invites and wanting to be around me, all the trying has stopped. And maybe I do wish people cared more, I wish they would actually want to help like really help cause no one is willing to do that for me and I'm tired of asking and making cries for help.