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amicableSailboat1882
1 393 M Embraced 3
PathStep 25 Compassion hearts33 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupTeen Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceJuly 18, 2025
Bio

I am new here, struggling with a lot of things that are hard to put into words.

Recent forum posts
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I been freakin out lately
The Church Cares / by amicableSailboat1882
Last post
 October 12th, 2025
...See more Im an older teen that's been suffering from anxiety for the longest time. Something has been happening within the past few weeks/months that I cant explain. This comes in waves, but I have been so unbelievably scared of sinning and if my interests are sins. I came across this thing called scrupulosity, which seems to fit me quite well, and it has been tearing me apart in ways I can not explain. I feel as if not only my life are bound to these chains of fear, but my eternity. I constantly pray and apologize to God and try to ask Him for clarity, I tell Him how I feel and how scared I am, and I try to look in my Bible for answers, but each day feels more dreadful and confusing. I try to listen in church, look for signs, but eveything is so drowned out. It has come to a point where I am unable to distinguish God's voice from my own thoughts or the enemy's. There have been points where I considered throwing out anything in my room that I liked in fear that I could be idolizing them. I stopped drawing, because im not sure if I am somehow idolizing it, because I will admit that I care very deeply for art. I dont even exactly know how this all started. I think it started when I was making a story that happened to have magic in it, and I panicked? Or maybe because I liked a game that really challenges the player's morals? I wish I knew. I really wish I knew what is happening, but all I know is that I am so tired and just want to cry. I am terrified of God and feel the worst pit in my stomach just thinking of Him.
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Last resort
Depression Support / by amicableSailboat1882
Last post
 July 24th, 2025
...See more This app is a last resort I have no one to talk to Most of my days are spent doing nothing I wonder if my body even belongs to me I cant tell if there's any "me" Sometimes I get scared to look in the mirror, because my brain recognizes me as some stranger, or a foreign alien. I cant feel any sort of connection anymore To anyone, past hobbies, myself, the way I look, my own face I feel like a walking corpse thats still somehow alive and moving My brain feels like its crumbling and im going brain dead I can barely even think, and maybe even process emotions. I feel just nothing most of the time, but not always the dreadful kind, the one where you cant feel a single thing. You have no reaction to anything. There is no positive or negative. There is barely existence itself. I feel I have no identity My own name doesn't feel like mine I'm just so tired and confused all the time Everything seems so boring, but in the "what's the point" way I have no counselor or some "trusted adult" I can talk to. I am unable to see a therapist at this time. I have no support or guidance from family members. I often feel quite invisible, like I am nothing but a spec of dust to them. There are many more things I'm sorry if this post is too long or too straightforward. I am scared (i think?) and dont know what to do.
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