I been freakin out lately

Im an older teen that's been suffering from anxiety for the longest time. Something has been happening within the past few weeks/months that I cant explain.

This comes in waves, but I have been so unbelievably scared of sinning and if my interests are sins. I came across this thing called scrupulosity, which seems to fit me quite well, and it has been tearing me apart in ways I can not explain. I feel as if not only my life are bound to these chains of fear, but my eternity.

I constantly pray and apologize to God and try to ask Him for clarity, I tell Him how I feel and how scared I am, and I try to look in my Bible for answers, but each day feels more dreadful and confusing. I try to listen in church, look for signs, but eveything is so drowned out. It has come to a point where I am unable to distinguish God's voice from my own thoughts or the enemy's.

There have been points where I considered throwing out anything in my room that I liked in fear that I could be idolizing them. I stopped drawing, because im not sure if I am somehow idolizing it, because I will admit that I care very deeply for art.

I dont even exactly know how this all started. I think it started when I was making a story that happened to have magic in it, and I panicked? Or maybe because I liked a game that really challenges the player's morals? I wish I knew. I really wish I knew what is happening, but all I know is that I am so tired and just want to cry.

I am terrified of God and feel the worst pit in my stomach just thinking of Him.