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amusingPond9982
3 8,433 M Moving Along 9
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts169 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceJuly 5, 2024
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I have phobia of time,fun and death. Help me, I depress and have panic attack every day of own mortality.
Newbie Hub / by amusingPond9982
Last post
 November 29th, 2024
...See more Time flies when I have fun or busy, so I not dare to have fun and busy too long because I depress that in a blink of an eye months and years grow faster as I get older, and a while I reach old age and die. Example, that day I go to this shopping mall, then like oh what so fast this event happen in 2017, oh so fast seven years ago, then what about the next seven years also just fly by, so scary feel like very real like in a blink of an eye I will reach year 2031.  I dont want time passing too fast, although I am quite optimistic and excited about future of world, but there still got a little uncertainty about the world, and also in the next several years, I will not able or much less time to with my current friends anymore, nostalgia is so hurting sometimes, when I think of several years ago with my school friends moment ,and now almost all of them I no longer contact them, this part is not really sad, but what makes me truly sad is two years ago, when I got same class with two of my old friends in college, and I thought they will miss me, so I go and approach and to talk to them, but unfortunately they seems like dont want to talk to me, they would rather mix with other group of friends rather than me, they seems like just give me perfunctory response. And I do try to talk to them for few weeks, but literally every time is I start the conversation first, and they never like want to approach me.  I terrified of death, I dont know what the afterlife be, is the afterlife a good or scary place I dont know, and I no longer able to do the things what I enjoy or want anymore if I die. And I will lose consciousness forever if no afterlife. I know people say just think death is like sleep but forever, sleep is not scary but why we scared of death. I know I also sleep every day, so that mean actually I "experienced death" every day assume if there is no afterlife. And sleep feeling actually is peaceful,dont have worries,stress,depression and negative emotions at all despite also have no positive emotions at all. But I like dont know why I feel like I want to perserve my identity, and I die, then my all memories,identity gone.  And I think maybe I have lots of nostalgia, that is why I feel so emotional on historical people,buildings and past, even though now I think maybe is better than past, but I just keep missing the past, just feel like that sense of traditional culture or something.
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