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asduggins2019
1 704 M Little Steps
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts38 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2025 Member sinceMay 23, 2019
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What would you like someone to do in this situation?
Autism Support / by asduggins2019
Last post
 December 21st, 2025
...See more My husband is autistic. I have fibromyalgia and it gets worse in the winter. My husband is oblivious to the things that need to be done around the house, including picking up after himself. This morning he did not finish his breakfast and left it on the tray on the dining room table. There have been times in the past where I took the tray in the kitchen and threw the food away, and he got mad, said that he was still grazing. Right now, the tray is still on the table after 12 hours. I left the light on in the dining room hoping it will get him to see it is still there. Would that be enough for you? Should I tell him to do it? (This happens most days) or is there something else you would want someone to do instead? The second situation is he will go days on end without brushing his teeth, changing his clothes or taking a bath. Should I leave his toothbrush on the counter? Tell him to do these things every day? Or something else? Im trying to understand what would work best for someone with autism.
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I have adhd and fibromyalgia, he is audhd. Our marriage needs help.
Autism Support / by asduggins2019
Last post
 November 5th, 2025
...See more Is this a place spouses can get advice and support? Im struggling with a debilitating chronic illness as well as my own ADHD. I need help around the house, but it seems like he is completely incompetent, even when I give word-for-word exact instructions on what I need help with. No, subtext, no expecting him to see the obvious. And it still doesn't get done. I'm afraid because I'm in so much pain right now. That I'm struggling to get even the basics of running a household done. But when January starts, I'll be doing tax season, forcing myself to work every single day because financially, we don't have a choice. And I'm afraid that I will still have to struggle through. Doing even the most basic things at home because he won't help. Please forgive any typos. It would take a million years for me to type this out. So I'm using voice to text. One example is I said "put the bagels in the fridge" he turned around pointed at the fridge. And said, "you mean this" as if he didn't know what a refrigerator was. This isn't constant. It will be days on end two weeks even. And then suddenly I'll have a day or 2, where he's very helpful. And then it's gone again. All the while he has a chore. List of things He does at his mom's for a small amount of money every week. I've got major depressive disorder, and I'm fighting the thought that he's doing this on purpose. And just because he's not getting any actual money from me, even though I pay every single thing in the house, everything he eats all the normal bills, because he doesn't work. I have no friends that I can talk to. My mother-in-law just shakes her head and says stuff like "that boy" or "men" i have tried everything. I can think of to make things easier because of his audhd. I made a chore list and stuck it on the fridge, giving him the absolute bare minimum that I possibly could do with detailed instructions. I'm lost
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