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ax1012
2 508 M Embraced 4
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupTeen Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceOctober 2, 2026
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Poetry / by ax1012
Last post
 Sunday
...See more I am tethered to a threshold made of mist and lead, Caught between the silent earth and the life I’ve led. I don’t crave the darkness, nor the quiet under stone, I just want the noise to stop, the aching in the bone. I want to wipe the slate clean, to wash away the years, The heavy weight of memories, the suffocating fears, The hands that left their shadows bruised upon my skin, And the constant, tireful battle raging deep within. To disappear sounds gentle, like a whisper in the night, A way to drop the burden and surrender from the fight. Yet dying isn't freedom—it’s just a final door, And I am torn between the peace and what I’m staying for. Because out beyond the ruin, where the ashes start to clear, There are two distinct voices I still need to hear. Two faces that can pull a sudden sunlight through the gray, Two reasons that my heavy feet decide to stay today. They bring a sudden lightness to a heart turned out of stone, And remind me, for a second, that I’m not entirely alone. I do not stay for promises, for glory, or for grace, I stay to see the quiet joy upon their chosen face. If I can bear the memories, the scars, the aching chest, It’s only so their laughter finds a place to rest. So I will hold the boundary line, though weary to the core, And live for those two smiles until I can live for more.
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What should I call it?
Poetry / by ax1012
Last post
 October 3rd
...See more In a room filled with voices that sound like my name, I am standing a stranger, playing their game. They built me a mold out of laughter and pride, But the person they see is a shadow inside. I look in the glass for a face I might know, Searching for roots that were allowed to grow, Yet the mirror reflects only silence and space, A drift of cold smoke in an unfamiliar place. Blood call it home, but the hearth is so cold, An altar where stories of judgment are told. To speak my own truth is to speak in a tongue They cast out as wrong since the day I was young. I am alien here where I should have belonged, Always too quiet, or spoken too wrong. They gather together and call it a tribe, While I am the hollow they cannot prescribe. Yet out in the dark, where the winter winds blow, There are two quiet lanterns that keep me aglow. Two pairs of hands that don't try to rewrite The shape of my soul in the midst of the night. Not a crowd, not a kingdom, just two steady souls Who don't need me fixed, and don't need me whole— Who see all my fragments, the fear and the stain, And stand in the doorway to share in the rain. I may not know yet who I’m destined to be, Or what kind of shores are waiting for me, But as long as those two give me room just to breathe, I can learn to accept what the world couldn't see. I don't need the many, the house, or the crown, When two honest hearts keep me from breaking down.
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How do I stay clean?
Self-Harm Recovery / by ax1012
Last post
 October 3rd
...See more Ive seen people stay clean for months years and im sitting here like wtf I can’t make it to a week today was supposed to be day seven but I’m back at zero and my gf saw and she isn’t mad but she’s disappointed and she told one of my friends because she knows how to deal with my *** and now they’re both disappointed and I feel like *** and how tf do I get clean my highest is six *** days im just not strong enough Ive been doing this since I was nine years old im almost fourteen and guess what my parents don’t notice anything they don’t care about me at all and Ik this my mum has said I ruined her life my being born idk anymore sorry im being annoying I’ll just shut up and suck it up like I always do cause I don’t matter
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How do I eat?
Eating Disorder Support / by ax1012
Last post
 October 2nd
...See more I can’t eat I’ve tried my friends get mad at me but I’m trying I feel fat im overweight by ten kilos I want to eat just to make people not worry the best part is my parents dont notice I’ve fainted because of not eating but I just want to not worry people so how do I eat it’s like something is stopping me can someone please help me
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