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bestLime1587
1 3,407 M Seeking Light 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts226 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes95 Current upvotes95 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceSeptember 9, 2024
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Bella

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Relationship Problems
Relationship Stress / by bestLime1587
Last post
 August 20th
...See more Back in 2022, a really nice boy proposed to me, I’m not gonna pretend like he was horrible even though he left me a week before the wedding. I was blindsided. I had absolutely no clue how he really felt and never at any point did he contact me again. He left me to pay for the entire wedding and cancel everything and tell the guys on my own. Looking back I don’t know how I did it. The resilience I had was really impressive. Never underestimate the strength of a woman. After my failed engagement, people pitted me. It became quiet when I entered a room, I was the talk of the town. I realized I become a sad story. I had 4 years with my ex and he broke up with me on a phone call while I was driving on the Brooklyn bridge. He took my past, I decided I would never let him take my future. That’s been my motto. We had a house we lost, a future that seemed bright full of children. I was devastated and also newly 30. It was a low time in my life. Than in 2026, I met the love of my life he proposed to me and finally it was all coming back, the place to live, the prospect of children, and a man who would stand by my side. I am overjoyed. It was surprising the response I received people making jokes “ hope this one sticks around.” I actually had a bridesmaid tell me she wouldn’t be in this wedding because she already did my last wedding ( never happened). Than said well you get married every few years. It shined a light of who really mattered to me in my life. My fiance is really sweet to me and loving. But I can’t stop this fear of abandonment. We fought today about something and I’m hoping it will resolve soon but I can’t help this same feeling coming back. The worst feeling I’ll ever had. The feeling like he to might call me one day and all my dreams will be over. I don’t know if I have the strength to go through another fiance breakup. And this time would be so much worse because my heart is completely his. Failed engagements and being left at the altar have to be one of the hardest things anyone has to go through. I’m so afraid I’ll be single again at 34. Rising back up from the ashes like an eagle, but will I be able to fly? Only time will tell how strong I can be. My fiance tells me he wants us to live in the same apartment building as his Mom. I told him that I think we should find a place of our own but he’s insisting this is the place. He told me his Mom called him to talk to the manger of the building and he put himself on a waitlist. Somehow his Mom convinced him that she wasn’t overstepping. Honestly, I’ve been fine with his close relationship with his Mom in the past. But I absolutely don’t want to jeopardize our marriage in this way. It seems like a good time for us to bond and I don’t think it’s fair to live with his family in the beginning of our marriage. I don’t know what to do and if I walk away it’s going to be terrible for me. I might also be saying goodbye to a family. I pray he can compromise but I don’t know it seems like he’s heart is really set. I’m going to be back to square one and I’m officially Sisyphus and rock and the rock is my marriage.
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Is my life toxic or is it just me?
General Support / by bestLime1587
Last post
 June 24th, 2025
...See more Some days are really great. In fact, as long as I don’t say no to something my life can be perfect. But sometimes, I don’t want to go certain places or I make other plans. And that’s when my controlling parent goes nuts. It can be a simple thing like can you come to the movies and I can’t make it. It because a huge fight, everything is a huge fight and somehow I’m the monster every time. I try my best to keep my composure and don’t get upset, I say sorry but no thank you, I can’t go politely and somehow I’m being screamed out, manipulated, and gaslit for the next two hours. It will continue until I APOLOGIZE. For years, I’ve keep my calm but recently I’ve started screaming back because I just can’t take it anymore. Because of this I try to just say yes. But it’s upsetting because I feel trapped. My freedom is taken from me. When I leave my house, I’m often questioned sometimes I’m made to feel bad if I leave the house without including this person. It’s always like I’m not allowed to be independent. In many ways, I’m a fool. I could just walk away but I don’t. I stay for the good times, because when it’s good I feel love. I’m in my early 30s, and single and still look young for my age. Which I believe adds to the problem, it’s almost like I’m being treated like a teenager but for eternity. In some ways, I’ve wasted the best years of my life trying to be the perfect daughter instead of living my life. I actually almost got married to gain freedom. How crazy is that? ( I did care for him but he broke my heart in the end. Another story.) She respects my married siblings much more than me. I don’t know if my experience is normal. I should walk away, I know I should but I’m afraid of the unknown. Living on my own is my goal but in this economy it’s almost impossible but I’m trying my best and working very hard. I’ve had three jobs at one point. Now I’m down to two because I couldn’t handle it.
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Thinking about what matters
7 Cups Online Therapy / by bestLime1587
Last post
 June 18th, 2025
...See more I wish people knew how precious life is. How the minor thing you’re worried about has no actual importance. I think about the man I like, does he think about me. Does he really want to know me? He likes the surface but would be like the person I really am. We live in this plastic world of appearances. I want to be real. I want to break the plastic walls and show that’s there’s more there’s something deeper. We bleed. We all bleed. We are imperfect beings and every breath, every step, is a temporary gift which will one day be lost forever.
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Losing my Father
Grief & Loss / by bestLime1587
Last post
 May 28th, 2025
...See more I lost my father at a time in my life where I was finding so much success. I just graduated. I got into grad school. And than his passing it really affected me deeply, I regretted not spending enough time with him even though I did live with him. All the studying and success what did it matter? I believe deep down all I wanted to do was make him happy. And even though he couldn’t go to my graduation, I do think he was there in spirit. Years later, I remember there was this one class, the professor kept emailing me saying I can’t miss another or I’ll fail. It’s weird how someone can make you feel like a class or a job is so important over anything else. I decided to drop that class and I’m so glad I did. I got to do something that really mattered which was spent time with my Dad. It made me think about what really matters in life. I think the answer is your loved ones and your family. Everything else can be replaced. You can always start a new job over or continue school later but you can’t replace your loved ones. If I were to go back in time I’d tell my younger self to spend every precious moment with my father. Life is precious.
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Getting Over my Ex
7 Cups Online Therapy / by bestLime1587
Last post
 May 20th, 2025
...See more I found out that he left me so he could jump out of a plane and buy a bunch of chickens lol Apparently, I never gave him the sense of freedom he wanted. He left me a week before our wedding. A wedding I paid for. I had no idea that he didn’t want to marry me. He couldn’t even break up with me in a normal way but over a two minute phone call. I said to him we could take things slow go back to just dating and he just said no and that he loved me. None of it ever made sense, when people asked me why? I never know what to say. I just became this sad story. I was honestly so sweet to him. I used to cook for him, I had so much patience for him. I was a good listener for him. He was my first boyfriend. He struggled sometimes at work. Many times I would comfort him. I think he forgot that. I wasn’t perfect though, I didn’t like driving to his house. He did most of the driving. I wasn’t big into animals like him. I wonder if he ever regrets it or if he feels relieved. I’ll always be wondering why. I would have done anything for him and now we are strangers.
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