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bethmarsh
315 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceApril 30, 2023
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I’m in a secret relationship and need someone honest opinion
Relationship Stress / by bethmarsh
Last post
 August 9th, 2023
...See more Hi I’m Beth (f 20) and this will probably sound like such a simple situation to solve but I’m having trouble so I’ve been seeing this guy almost everyday for 4 months after meeting him at a club. (I’ll call him Evan) 3 months into this non defined relationship his roommate told me Evan is in a relationship with his gf of 5 years! I tried to break contact as I was angry but I missed him and so I decided to talk it out with him and keep seeing him Evan tells me he loves me, we go on dates and I see him almost everyday, (his gf is long distance) He messages me telling me he misses me when we aren’t together, I always want to be around him and he is so nice when we are together (he even took care of me when I was spiked) The one remaining problem is Evan still with his girlfriend and he can’t decide whether to break up with her or not. I feel so guilty, I feel like a home wrecker and the guilt keeps getting stronger as time goes on. Every time they have an argument I feel myself hoping they broke up. It’s like I’m praying on their relationship’s downfall which makes me feel evil. My flatmates know what he did and how upset I was and so they disapprove of me seeing him. So I’ve even taken to lying to them about where I’m going and sneaking out of the house to see him! Which is going to damage my friendships in the long run but I keep doing it and I don’t know why I’ve sometimes thought of telling him “it’s either me or your girlfriend” but I’m so scared he won’t pick me. Then I feel bad because if he does pick me I’ll practically be stealing him away from his girlfriend who loves him. I heard him on the phone a week ago to his girlfriend and he said “bye I love you” and I broke down crying. I sit up at night thinking on how I can improve to make him want me more so he’ll choose me. If he goes out to a night club I sit up wondering if he’s kissing other girls and can’t sleep till he messages me telling me he’s home. I keep being told there are other guys out there but I’ve never felt this way about someone before and I feel like I’ll never want anyone else. I just felt like I needed to get that off my chest because my friends think I’ve ended things with him and that’s left me with no one to talk to about it also Sorry for the bad grammar I’m dyslexic and struggle a lot with it
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