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blueBlueberry2558
1 272 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceMay 13, 2020
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Why is it so hard to love myself
Relationship Stress / by blueBlueberry2558
Last post
 May 13th, 2020
...See more I am currently in a relationship with a guy I've been with for almost two years. He's not my first love, or serious relationship. I've had my heart crushed before, I felt like I was not going to survive it. That break up was so hard for me, it's when I started self harming. But I got better! And I found my new boyfriend and some self confidence and I promised myself I wouldn't feel like that ever again. It wasn't healthy and I deserve more. But here I am. Years later, new man, new relationship, new love, new break up, new heart break. I know I can be a lot, I know I need a lot of validation, and I have some anger issues and trust issues but I deserve to be loved back. I deserve someone not to want to leave all the time. I have a big heart I don't know why the people I give it to stomp all over it. Here I am feeling like I'm sinking again only this time it's not my teen angst or whatever. I'm an adult woman heart broken the same way, trying to make him stay the same way, feeling like it's me, like I'm never going to be good enough for anyone. And I probably won't be. I'm sorry for wasting so many people's time. Life sucks
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Why do I want to stay where I
Relationship Stress / by blueBlueberry2558
Last post
 May 14th, 2020
...See more We don't make each other happy. I cry everyday. We yell everyday. It ends the same way. You tell me to get the fuck out and then you play video games and I cry. I pay the bills, I take care of us, I think of you in every decision I make. I always think of little things I can do to make you're day better or see something you would like I pick it up. I love you I love you're son. I support you're dreams and all I want back is love and support. But you can't give it to me. I've gotten to the point I don't even want to be with you anymore, but I'm scared to be alone. But am I really scared to be alone? I feel alone with you everyday. I feel abandoned and used and run down by you everyday. My loneliness doesn't leave me. So what am I really afraid of? Why do I stay where I'm not happy? Why do I let a man not love me or let me love myself.
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