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blueplott99
1 235 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceDecember 29, 2015
Bio

Just a 26 year old they/ them trying to figure out life one step at a time.

Recent forum posts
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I think my dead son visited me in my dream last night
Grief & Loss / by blueplott99
Last post
 August 26th, 2025
...See more For some base context, my son was still born in 2017. He would have been 8 this October. Last night I had a weird dream. I was in my house but it was empty. I saw a young boy (looking to be about 7 or 8 years old) wandering around the hall and living room. I followed him into the spare bedroom of my house where he turned around and called me mommy. He looked like a good mix of my ex (his other parent) and myself. He had dark blonde curly hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin. He kept telling me "mommy dont leave. Don't go. Stay." I asked what his name was and before the boy could finish saying his name, I woke up in a panic. From what I could hear of his name, it sounded like he was trying to say "Jay", which is the name i gave my son. My wife thinks it could have been my son visiting me in my dream, but im not sure. It's been leaving me emotional all day and im not sure if it really was a visitation dream or if my grief is just manifesting in my sleep.
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Reupload: not sure what to do
Relationship Stress / by blueplott99
Last post
 August 24th, 2025
...See more My original post got removed so im reuploading it. My wife and I have been married 2 years, together for 6. When we first started dating, I thought I was polyamorous but later realized I was using sex with others to cope with my depression and low self esteem, thus seeking out validation through sex. My wife and I stayed monogamous until recently when she came to me wanting to have an open marriage. I thought I was okay with this, but then I quickly realized that I did not want her to be with others. It made me uncomfortable knowing my wife was with another. But I wanted to freely have sexual relations with others with no strings attached. I think I may once again be reverting back to my old ways of using sex to cope with my depression and seek out validation to improve my self esteem. How do I deal with this in a healthy manner without losing my wife for wanting to stay monogamous???
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Needing some serious help
Depression Support / by blueplott99
Last post
 August 19th, 2025
...See more My wife and I have been married 2 years, together for 6. When we first started dating, I thought I was polyamorous but later realized I was using sex with others to cope with my depression and low self esteem, thus seeking out validation through sex. My wife and I stayed monogamous until recently when she came to me wanting to have an open marriage. I thought I was okay with this, but then I quickly realized that I did not want her to be with others. It made me uncomfortable knowing my wife was with another. But I wanted to freely have sexual relations with others with no strings attached. I think I may once again be reverting back to my old ways of using sex to cope with my depression and seek out validation to improve my self esteem. How do I deal with this in a healthy manner without losing my wife for wanting to stay monogamous???
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