Reupload: not sure what to do
My original post got removed so im reuploading it.
My wife and I have been married 2 years, together for 6. When we first started dating, I thought I was polyamorous but later realized I was using sex with others to cope with my depression and low self esteem, thus seeking out validation through sex. My wife and I stayed monogamous until recently when she came to me wanting to have an open marriage. I thought I was okay with this, but then I quickly realized that I did not want her to be with others. It made me uncomfortable knowing my wife was with another. But I wanted to freely have sexual relations with others with no strings attached. I think I may once again be reverting back to my old ways of using sex to cope with my depression and seek out validation to improve my self esteem. How do I deal with this in a healthy manner without losing my wife for wanting to stay monogamous???
@HeyItsMattiRae222
It does not seem to be improving your self esteem in long run maybe like an addiction.
Is that small boost to ego worth losing your marriage? Did you consider she may not really like your casual arrangements.... like you do not like the thought of her with others. maybe you need to have a deep conversation about everything sometimes couples can do this best with a third party like a marriage counselor.
Update:
I told my wife how I was feeling. About how I feel as though im reverting back to my old ways of using sex as a form a personal validation and im not actually polyamorous, I'm monogamous with a bad coping mechanism. It did not turn out well. She and I both admit we want to be with each other, but she is considering divorce. Help????